What Is This? Poem by Rachel bannink

My heart rate is going so fast, my head is dizzy, i cant focuss, the world is sparkling in my vision, my breathing is slowing to a stop, i can only feel a heart beat on my chest, i can only hear the breathing in my ear, i can only taste a sweet flavour in my mouth, i can only smell a strong scent around me, i can feel this tight hold around my body, i feel heat coming off something around me, i feel a slight tingel in my hand that shocks right up my body to a stop to my mouth, i feel a breeze on my lips that send goosebumps up my spine making me tremble, then two hands break my fall, my heart starts to beat fast, the hands i feel are warm they have a smooth feel to them, i feel a hand move from my waist slowly to my face, then i feel a body agaisnt me, i search around of the object holding me, i feel short smooth hair, i feel a nose, two eyes, two ears, then i feel a mouth, i run my finger down his mouth, down past his neck, i run a straight line up from the neck down to his chest, i put both hands on his chest and slide them down to his waist, i wait for the reaction, i feel his nose search my face i close my eyes and think, i know this hold, i know this smell, i remember this taste, i know this body, i open my eyes and then my vision becomes clear i see those eyes that haunt me in my sleep, that perfect nose, those dimples, that smile, those lips, its him...the smell the touch the warmth its all him, i wanna believe its him i feel the urge to ask if its true, but i pause, i feel his hand rubbing my cheeks, i feel the grip of the other hand on my waist, he pulled me in, i wanted this moment to be perfect, so i closed my eyes and woke to reality, i stand over his grave looking down at the love of my life, the coffin that holds the one i spent those moments with, i dropp to my knees and dropp my rose into the hole in the ground with my beloved, i lean in to see it, a tear drops and lands on his coffin, i get up and pull out of the crowd that surounds me, i run to the closest tree, i look at the engraved notes on the tree i hold, ones like' i love you', 'never leave me', 'i heart aaron' i look back at the crowd that surounds the body of my life, i pull out a pen in my bag, i pull a bit of bark off the tree and simply write...'i will always love you ' and i look back to see that im the only one left, i walk over to my beloved and blow a last kiss and walk to a new life that doesnt have him in it...