What Must I Overcome? Poem by Butterflies In My Belly Forever

Being a kid and dealing with violence,
Holding my brother and the scariest silence,
Sitting under a kitchen table waiting in fear,
Was he going to hit her again?
We were waiting to hear.

Both shaken and scared we came out,
All bloody and bruised I began to shout.
What have you done to our mother?
What could I now do to protect me and my brother?

The police always came but to no avail..
I wished my father would burn in hell.
I was so glad when I came home that day,
Mama said get a few things, we are going away.

We went to my Nannie's and started a new life.
One that was filled with just as much strife.
My mama she tried the best she could,
I knew she would make it one day, I just knew she would.
I remember the men she met in the bars,
They left such emotional scars.
My brother and I had much to endure
and at such a young age we were no longer pure.

But my mama faught and turned her life around.
But by then I was so turned upside down.
I did not know right from wrong and almost repeated my mothers sad song.
I watched her struggle and make good of herself,
I watched her put good memories on her life's bookshelf.
I saw herself with great pride and that beautiful twinkle in her eye.

When my father died I was so happy.
He could do no more damage and my memories I could now manage.
He was no longer a person that could hurt me inside,
He couldnt beat my mama, or make my brother cry.

It was then that my heart softened and became less of stone.
It was then that I no longer wanted to be left alone,
All the years that were filled with pain,
In my heart, the love began to rain.
My heart grew stronger and stronger.

My Nannie got sick and then she died,
The hurt in my heart I could not hide.
I had my mom there to help me thru,
but the old me wanted to come thru.
My heart wanted to be disconnected again,
I lost my connection to God, I lost my best friend.

So as the time past, my mama and I intertwined,
We leaned on eachother so our hearts were combined.
We became the bestest friends, all the way until the end.
I was with her in the wee morning when she took her last breath,
My hand in hers, my head on her chest.
The tears streaming down my face as now I will never know my place.

What else shall I overcome?
I should not ask...
I love my son,
I have seen the terrible things,
I have seen things that make my heart sing.
I know that life is not perfect and I would be silly to think so..
but I have had enough and God should know.