Butterflies In My Belly Forever

I'm a bleeding butterfly.
My wings are made of glass but are strong enough to carry me.
My spirit glides like the summer breeze..
Fragile yet untouched.
...

Pulse racing at the thought of your kiss...
Can I really go thru with this?
Heart beating faster with every breath,
Do I have any courage left?
...

There was set in life to be
A diamond born,
Twas his destiny.
Though once he starting growing,
...

I want to tell you of a sweet boy.
One of the sweetest my heart has known.
The things we could learn from him are so unknown.
His eyes are so big and wide and brown.
...

What is this yearning and burning in my heart?
Why did God tear it apart.
I watched her suffer for over a year struggling daily over her very worst fear.
In my heart I did all I could, I don't understand why He would.
...

The tingle as my lips begin to swell,
I know this feeling, oh yes, I know it well.
Oh how my excitement builds..
Counting the beats as they pulse thru my body.
...

Angry people, you see them all the time.
On the buses, on the streets, in the grocery line.
I swear I think it is hilarious to watch them huff and puff
and roll their eyes and shake thier hips...
...

Where once was the smell of love in the kitchen,
Is now filled with Silence So Loud.
Where once was the sound of love and laughter is now filled with the smell of emptiness...
and echoes that return what seems like forever.
...

In the beginning I let you know,
About angry words, and how deep they go.
And what it meant to me that they not be said.
As the anger in your heart began to show,
...

Loneliness and solitued grasp me around my neck.
I would cry but the lump in my throat combined won't let me.
That lonely hole inside me is like a cavern that lasts forever,
I wish my mom was here.
...

I sat down to write this poem.
Usually that is not my style.
So I am opening my mind and letting it spew.
...

When he draws me near so many things become so clear.
Tiny things become so magnified and significant.
Good and bad.
His hands caressing me,
...

Not sure why I was thinking it was real..
All the love and wonderful things I thought I really did feel.
Maybe it was a dream when I though my heart did heal.
...

What is this feeling that I carry around..
The one that kicks me further to the ground?
This feeling around that I carry with me..
It never lets me be.
...

I do not care what you have to say to me.
Your words are of no meaning.
You walk this earth yet you don't exist,
Your love for me, I must resist.
...

This is a story...a story of old,
One that I am sure has already been told.
Just not my way.
...

And when it's down it's down.
I can't seem to get off this merry-go-round.
One day there are smiles with treasures of bliss.
The next I am saying 'What the hell is this'?
...

Three little boys
Into everything.
Throwing this,
Throwing that.
...

Why is it that you allow this venom that runs thru our veins to destroy yet again another generation?
The twisted tainted past of wrong decisions selfishness evil and disgust that plague the spirit man begging to be freed inside yourself...
I sit in despair and helplessness as you taunt your loved ones so desperately watching you hanging dangling by a thread so close to losing your life and the lives of those around you to the agony of self destruction and lies, loathing hate and anguish seeping from your pores with the smell of alcohol and fury.
And at what point exactly did you decide to open the door to all those things take over your life...causing you and everone else around you strife?
...

I am not the same as you..
This I hope you will see..
I thought what we had was special..that you really believed in me.
...