When I Can't But Stop Shedding Tears Poem by BASAB CHAUDHURI

This is a lonely evening,
the bed cover is all blue
reminding the ocean.
I lean against a pillow and think.
When I can't but stop shedding tears.

Life is a sequence of events:
childhood, adolescence, youth, --
slowing down to old age,
and then disappearing, yes --
from all that I thought I had possessed.

From all these that belong to me
to a sense of nothingness,
although life does never impart the lesson for some fear or is due to some arbitrariness that life only knows.

Evenings overcast my mind.
I think of my father.
Yes, I cried when the doctor said...
but I recovered from the shock
and continued walking on the road again.

The same was with mother --
none is immortal, I felt and picked up from there.
The road again, life teaches to absorb, accept and to move on to the finality (or grand finale) !

Tears did roll down, they do even now,
but a moment comes when the drops dry up.
Life must go on. Where?
The road again.
And then I ask myself the question:
when I can't but stop shedding tears.
An ocean of tears --
when I lose myself.
A betrayal to my own heart,
when I trample upon truth,
when my heart is just a lump of flesh --
and all else is just meaningless.

Did I live for this?
I cry.
My tears do not stop flowing.