When I Hit You Poem by Anime Ghost

It was all a blur
My eyes adjusted and I saw you lying on the ground, your breathing seems labored and your face was bruised.
It only took a few seconds for all the memories to come rushing back, the little argument that had turned into this big fight, the idiotic misunderstanding that started it, the insecurities that fueled it.
But there you were still on the ground, I'd put you there, at the peak of my rage I had put you there. My love for you took a back seat and i had hurt you so badly that you couldn't even breathe properly.
The first wave of regret just hit, seconds pass as i  rush to your side to comfort you, there is fear in your gaze, that fear you once only directed at monsters in the horror movies we watched together it was now directed at me. I know I must look like a monster to you as i try to explain how much I still love you and how this is just a very bad mistake but your are getting weaker your breathing is getting more labored as go unconscious, i need to rush you to the hospital.
When we get there, I call out to the anyone to help me save you, i can't lose you not now not ever, a group of doctors take you away from my arms to another room, it kills me to let you go with them but i know that they will save you. A nurse walks me away to ask some routine questions, i try to be as forthcoming as possible till the ask if i knew what had happened, my brain froze as I try to come up with a believable lie so i blurt out 'I don't know' in a frenzied panic as they tried to calm me down and left me alone with you but at some point it feels like I am being suspected, you still lay there unconscious taking in breath after breath hopefully in a pleasant place created by your mind.
As time passes, my mind continously wanders to the memories I don't want to face. You argue with me like you always do say something sarcastic that chips a great chunk of my ego away, then walk away so we both cool off, why did I hit you, i just wanted to hurt you the way I felt you hurt me, that thought hits like a ton of bricks, i try to escape the feeling that comes with it, But every other thought vanishes leaving me with just this horrific screen play of myself continously hitting you, the look of horror in your eyes as you beg me to stop, why couldn't I just stop.

Every hour passes me as I try to atone for my great sin, no amount of apology could make up for this, so maybe flowers, i order as many as the florist is willing to bring the next hour, maybe dinner and chocolate would help hopefully. If you opened your eyes now you'd see a room full of your favorite flowers i whispered hoping to coax you from what seems to be an eternal slumber. Days are passing and you don't seem to be stirring even a little, I'll soon have to leave you and head back to work that way you will be taken care of properly.

Nothing seems to be going well, i can't concentrate on anything as thought of you keep floating through my head, at this rate I am going to have take a leave of absence before I really do something i can't undo. I need a break but you follow me everywhere, even into my dreams you're eyes continue to haunt me, i need you to wake up, i need to make this right, i need to know that you don't hate me anymore, that the fight didn't happen  that this is all a very bad nightmare and you'll would kiss me when I wake. But seeing you lay down there I know better than anyone that even if you do wake up you might never be able to love me again and I don't think I want to be able to live in a world where you don't love me anymore.