When I'M Sober... Poem by Amy Busby

I don't want to let you go,
But I don't know what else to do.
How am I supposed to choose
Between my self-respect and love for you?
You're my world, you're my strength.
You're my weakness, you're my pain.
You're my hope and my doubt.
I love you to death,
But I need a way out.
You're like a drug,
And I'm addicted.
When I'm with you, I'm okay.
But I'm sober when you're away.
That's when I realize
You don't mean to criticize.
You don't mean to make me hurt.
That's just the way you are.
You're like a drug,
And I'm addicted.
I swallow your words
Like a bunch of tiny pills.
I don't feel them right away,
But it doesn't take long
Until everything's 'okay'.
Of course I think I'm happy.
What else am I supposed to feel?
But when you aren't around
And I become sober...
I realize I'm not really happy.
You're just like a drug,
And I'm addicted.
You don't take the pain away.
You just help me hide it deep inside.
You say it's going to be okay.
And I believe you...
Until the next day...
When I'm sober.
Because of my addiction..
I lost my closest friends.
I lost my self-respect.
I gave up on everything.
All I wanted was you.
I don't want to let you go,
But that's what I have to do.
The time has finally come...
Now I have to choose.
I choose my self-respect.