Sarah Dharmasiri

White Lies - Poem by Sarah Dharmasiri

I knew you once
Now you're the past
Ash spirals and circles of dust
But you, you will never know
That I stole your memory
I'd forgotten but it's so clear to see
I believed for a time that it was me
But too late now and I'll sit here
Feeding lies
From your long lived days gone by
It may not have even been your memory
But now its moved on, hosting on me
And with these lies
my head tries
to forget this life
and simplifies this story of yours
and I'll await the day you die
and keep on telling the same old lie
and when people question and ask why
I'll pull on you, be your disguise
And though my heard knows my head denies
sending me to hell no compromise
Days that will spiral NO MORE LIES
I'll just roll over and beg to die
I guess that answers the question why
I never wrote though I had promised to try
I'll never write now, the letter so tempting
For fear of my dark secret escaping
A heavy secret in the mind of a child
It swerves and bumps with every mile
Along the road to adulthood
I CANNOT BREATHE; you never could.
This dark disguise it weighs me down
I'll whisper my secret to the ground
I have no strength to turn around
Back in to the fire.
Where it's you not her that burns and dies.

Topic(s) of this poem: deceit, fantasy, fiction, lie, lies, secret, child, death, death of a friend

Form: Dramatic Monologue

Poet's Notes about The Poem

As a child a girl at summer camp told me her friend has been burned to death in a church after her hair caught fire on a candle. The following week I told other children that it was my friend that it had happened to. I never then wrote to anyone or kept in touch with anyone at camp after I returned home because I thought they would know I had lied about something so horrid. The story haunted me until I wrote this as a teenager, where, on reflection, I first understood that the story was probably not true and was probably made up in the first place.

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Poem Submitted: Monday, April 6, 2015

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