Why? Poem by Forever Underestimated

Why do I do this to myself?
I'm lying
To them,
To myself.
I toss and turn,
Hold back so much.
Hiding.
I pretend I don't care,
But in all reality,
I need you.
And the thought
That you might be meant
For another path...
It kills me.
Smiling:
I find myself doing it.
And when I do, I know
I'm kidding myself.
You didn't break my heart.
You only bruised it.
But when I think about it,
What did you do wrong?
Nothing.
So why do I do this to myself?
Why do I suffer
When there's nothing to suffer for?
I'm protecting.
Protecting her.
She needs you,
Whether she knows it or not.
And it's killing me.
Every time
I hear your name,
I go numb.
It's like I don't care,
But at the same time,
It brings me to life.
Because you're everything to me.
But you're blind.
You can't see it.
I don't know why.
But I know one thing:
I'll never be ready
To say 'Good-bye.'