Forever Underestimated

I've been broken so many times
Mentally abused
Scared out of my mind
Silent
...

Today I shall write in cursive,
And try something new.
I'm tired of the same old script,
So I'll try something different. How about you?
...

You know what's wierd?
I don't even have to look you in the eyes
Because I already know you
I don't know how,
...

I'm lost
I'm tired
Starving
In pain
...

The best of both worlds:
Yeah, that's what I need.
Curves and lines,
Anything can be mine.
...

I'm broken
But what broke me?
I don't have a clue
But you're trying to fix me
...

When I was little...
I wanted to be black
So I'd feel less guilt about slaves.
I wanted to be fat
...

What do you do
When the only person
Who can see the tears
Is drowning in their own?
...

I knew you as
Simple imperfection
Beautiful
But scarred and lost
...

What have I done?
I can't shake the feeling that
I can't turn this around
I've wasted so many months
...

There lies a body
Behind blue eyes
Who bleeds and cries
But makes no sound.
...

I did it.
The tears mixed with the red and
I screamed.
I cried out in pain.
...

It's empty.
My chest is empty.
Only a hollow beat remains
As I scream out.
...

Not my fault?
You say this isn't my fault?
You're wrong there...
So wrong.
...

Nothing hurts more
Than when you feel no pain
Lost in your own game
Will life ever be the same?
...

Hidden in the blue;
Hidden by you,
...

I'm falling
Falling into the darkness
To a place of no return
Catching glimpses of light
...

They say the only thing you should fear
Is fear itself.
If that's true,
Then why do I fear so much more?
...

Why is it
That every time
I look in your eyes,
I see pain?
...

Sitting across the room,
I can feel your presence.
I don't heve to look up.
Some how I just know
...