Why Poem by Rhona Daileg

My heart is full of hatred and I don't know why.
Full off loneliness and I can't even identify if it is agony,
Nor if it is empty.
All I know is, it is full of hatred and I don't even know why.
In my heart it is bleeding at lot and it is crying at all times.
And again, it is full of hatred and I don't know why.
I can't leave the past behind.
Like me, no one can leave the hurt inside.
Still my heart is full of hatred and I don't know why.
It is bleeding a lot and I just ignore the melting feeling inside.
I want to shout and let it out because my heart is full of hatred and still I don't know why.
I feel defeated and triumph can't over me.
This feels like I have no rights other than to feel the hatred inside.
No one even ask "what is that you want."
Yet all I hear is "This is what I want or else better to leave you behind."
Afraid to be left behind and be a troublesome, she chooses to do what they want.
Even though it is against on what her heart wants.
To satisfy them is I only desire but still my heart is full of hatred inside.
Full of bucket questions that is keep running on her mind.
Like a bicycle wheel that can't be stop unless you stopped stepping on the pedal one each side.
She wonders, what life can be without one.
A life that is full controlled by you.
Full of innocent, happiness and smiles.
A life that is you decide.
Where the heart will learn how to let go and remove the hatred from the start.
A life where heart will get hurt yet will learn how to stand up and fight.
Fight for what she loves and what she wants.
Where she doesn't need to pretend on, she was.
Where she can be proud of herself no matter what.
Mistakes, wrong, bad decisions or even more will be a lesson to pursue her to move forward not to stay on the boundary line.
Where paths will be no fear on her heart, yet an adventure where she can be excited to figure out -> what will be on the other side?
Full of excitement and hope that she will be achieving something in life.
But hey, her heart is full of hatred inside.


And maybe, I know now…why.