Why Poem by Zaffar Qureshi

Why was I not able to touch things,
when they were close, oh so close to me?
Why did I have to long for you,
while you were sitting right next to me?
Why does this dreadful feeling of loss,
not escape my heart, even for a moment?
Sometimes I wish I was anything but me.
If I became, slightly indifferent, if I felt slightly less, would you still love me?
Please do, for that way I might actually existlong enough, for you.