'Why I Am Like This' Poem by Chrismary Binu

You always ask me—
'Why are you like this? '
You'll know the day
you feel even half of what I've lived through.

You say—
'They're your family,
they only want the best for you.'
Yeah… I know.
They're my family.
They're supposed to love me.
But sometimes the people who 'love' you
end up breaking you the most.

Have you ever been beaten
by your own father?
Not because you made a mistake—
but just because he assumed you did?
Because he never gave you a chance to explain?
Do you know how it feels
when the one person you look up to
makes you feel like you're nothing?

Have you ever carried a guilt
so heavy
it makes your chest hurt
just because you couldn't become
what your parents expected you to be?

Do you know how it feels
to see disappointment in their eyes
when all you ever wanted
was to make them proud?

Have you ever hated yourself
for hurting the people you love the most—
not because you meant to,
but because you're not 'enough'?

Have you ever lived with a trauma
that kills you every single day—
a silent scream inside your head
that no one else can hear?

Have you ever blamed yourself
for things you never did?
For things that happened to you?
And then watched everyone
blame you too?

Have you ever looked at the people you love
and felt completely worthless in their eyes?
Felt like even your love isn't enough for them to care?

Have you ever broken so hard inside
that even breathing feels like punishment?
And yet…
you can't say a word.
Because you know
no one would listen.
No one would believe you.
They'll say you're too sensitive,
too dramatic,
too weak.

Have you ever lived in a house
that doesn't feel like a home anymore?
A place where the walls know your pain
more than the people living in it?

Have you ever been treated like filth
in the name of 'discipline'?
Hit, insulted, torn apart—
just because you didn't turn out
the way they wanted?

Have you ever been told—
'We're your family,
you can tell us anything…'

And when you finally do,
they tear you down,
judge you,
beat you,
destroy your mental peace—
all because you trusted them
with the truth?

They say they care.
But they only care
as long as you stay silent
So next time you ask—
'Why are you like this? '

Here's your answer:

First feel it.
Then speak.
Until then…
don't ask..