Why I Don'T Cook Poem by Lynne Crandall

I recall the last time you were here, I tried to make
Those cupcakes but for some reason they wouldn’t bake.
So I left them in the oven for an hour or two
But then they started to burn, boy did they smell, phew!
After the cupcakes I thought I would try
To make some of my
Great Aunt’s secret shrimp
But after all this food I was sure I had turned into a blimp
So I decided to make some carbless
Bread and I must confess
I think I added too much salt
(Although the recipe was confusing so it wasn’t my fault) .
After all these episodes I’ve quite given up
On cooking. I don’t want anyone to upchuck
Anything and blame me,
Plus my mother cooks for free.
Don’t worry, I’ll let my dreams of becoming a chef fade
And disappear. Oh, wait! Try some of these cookies I just made!