Will I Ever Learn? ? ? Poem by J.J B. Torment

Will I EVER learn? ? ? ? ?



Will I ever learn? I really don’t think so.
If I just look at my past, I know how this will eventually go.
I will end up alone … hurt, .. AGAIN….and my tears will start to flow,
And then the last step to this outcome is, I will hit a new higher low.

Why don’t I learn? Is it this is who I truly was made to be?
Someone who cares to much, someone who is to friendly?
Why do I open myself up to all this future pain and misery!
It’s not like it will ever change. I think it’s just my destiny.

I let someone in my heart and soul, and think that this friendship is true.
That as much as I care for this person, they will care as much back for me too.
So I start to think they will always be in my life, in the dark skies and in clear blue.
But for me it rarely ends that way, Why….. I haven’t a clue.

Could it be that I am just a person who is to be used and played with like an old beat up toy?
The kind that when it’s new, everyone wants to play with it, every girl and boy?
But as it gets old, they look for something more exciting, a new thing to give them joy,
While I am stuck thrown into a closet, never again to ever be enjoyed.

I keep doing the same thing, even though that’s the definition of insanity.
I can’t help it though, cuz it’s the heart that’s been handed to me.
This is the 4th time its happened, only one has stayed out of the other three.
How will this one ‘end’? Don’t know, I just guess I will have to wait and see.

Will I ever Learn? I hope not, otherwise I might as well be dead and not living.
Even though it almost always ends the way I said, my heart will always be willing,
to share with a selected special few, the ones that maybe, a ‘higher power’ to me, keeps on giving,
and pray that this time things will turn out different, this time this person will care for me as much as I do for them, at least for now that’s what I will keep on believing.