Kristin Adderley

Wine Glass - Poem by Kristin Adderley

If I was honest with myself
I would say “I miss you”
I would say “I can’t get you out of my head”
But my mouth always seems to open up
And out flies lies instead

I could say that I really don’t care
I could act like you don’t matter
Sure, I could laugh when you insult me
However one day my lies will ensnare
For now I’ll just prepare

Truthfully how I feel about you
Is a real mystery
Perhaps you can explain to me
This feeling of peace when our eyes make contact
The feeling of sadness when you break it
The feeling of lost when I see your back

Explain to me the clenching of my chest
When your hand is in her hand
The wrenching of my gut when your lips
Those sweet, sweet lips
Are on her lips

Why do I even care?
Knowing that you don’t
You just left me there
You left me here
Feeling alone and sorry for myself

If I knew that I would have
To experience such a pain
A pain that makes food taste like sand
Rainbows black and white
And that can change my view
Of a man
Then I wish I hadn’t met you

I wish you didn’t put a smile on my face
I wish I never even looked your way
Your laugh, your smile, your face
Still imprinted in my mind
Something that evades time
The memories of me and you

I can still remember
The first day we met
How can anyone forget your face?
How can anyone forget your voice?
They can’t simple you give them no choice but to remember

Why do you keep looking away?
If you look back you would see me
Still staring at your retreating figure
You would see me glaring
At the one that is at your side

Why do you keep looking away?
When our eyes meet don’t break it
So I can imagine us the way we used to be
Before you threw that all up
Cleansed it with bleach
And mopped the putrid sea

You have no idea
What I went through
Trying to put back the pieces of the glass
Trying to make it brand new
I ran out of glue
Screw you

I did my best so I tried to fill the glass
Once a glass is broken
You can never repair it fully back
There will always be a crack
A crack that will leak
Until there is nothing left
But emptiness

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Poem Submitted: Monday, December 12, 2011

Poem Edited: Tuesday, December 13, 2011

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