Without Dreams Poem by Christine Ann Persaud

Even in the night
Rather when the moon is out
I used to fight
With myself to close my mouth
And just try to sleep..
I wanted to dream
Without the memory
Of you like a team
So that I got worry
About whats wrong with me..
I don´t know
If it´s you or it´s me
Of this feeling of shallow
Like as he
Used to look at me..
I tried to refuse
I tried to cry
But I can´t use
What makes me shy
Cause it meaned I loosed..
I reply again what´s this?
But I couldn´t find
What made that kiss
Makes me mind
How butterflies exist…
Is this a joke?
Or it´s just him
That every oke
Was like a sin!
I couldn´t fall in love…
Someday it would stop
And that day I will talk
How I reach the top
By just a walk
Through my desease…