Without His Embrace… Poem by Louise Tredoux

I would have reduced you to the same
sorry state I am in today if I had met you,
it is better that there was no meeting at all,
I’ll have to make up reasons to survive this
day, I feel like a Russian peasant sentenced
to the Gulag - must replace this with an image
of being a heroine in a great story whose love
unrequited requires strong forbearance to live
her small existence, but the fear of this coming
true is too haunting, the prospect too daunting,
I bitterly cry when reading of such events, though
I can’t return to the cynicism of my youth, too much
feeling is a wave too overbearing to contemplate,
I need a magic thought to lift me out of this day;
that Rudi has to go away frequently creates so
many challenges I have to face, to carry my lone-
liness quietly, not complaining, not making it
difficult for him; it seems easier for him, he
has new adventures on sea while I continue
in the same place, without his smile,
without his embrace…