You Hurt Me! Poem by Nikki Addleton

Battered and bruised
Cut and marked
How could i do this, you do this?
I cut myself, feel the blood ooosing
I pinch myself watch the bruises some to the surface
Is there a way out?
A way to stop the pain?
A way to stop the hatred?
I lie cold, staring into space
Feeling the need to die
You hurt me so much
So badly, why? why?
Am i not good enough?
The pain stronger, i try to take over
But its stronger than anything i do to harm my body
Looking in the mirror
Hating what i see
Good days and bad days
Bad why? because of you
I see my face, cover it with make up
Lacking in confidance
Wanting to hide, to disappear... *poof* gone! !
Ashamed of me, of who i am
Scratching my arm untill it hurts
Tears flowing down my face
I need to do it, to hurt myself like you hurt me
Once.. Twice.. Three times, Four?
Shutting down blocking everyone out who exists
Ignore them, hands over my ears
Staring at four walls i dont need no one
Sinking into depression dark and deep
No need to be here anymore
Bathing my wounds, regretting what ive done
Thinking i still love you, but why?
It hurts like the way you hurt me
Before you think of me... you acting on your actions
While i do all of this to myself and my body
Wanting to die inside

~nikki addleton~ 18/06/10