Young Innocence Poem by Claudia Nkhata

To this day I can't stand being around men because of the fear they instilled in me
I can't stand being alone in the dark
I can't stand entrusting my baby sister in the hands of men
Yes I still remember that feeling when my body shook and trembled with fear
I trembled so bad that it hurt and I almost felt as though my heart was in my mouth
I screamed no rescue came my way, I mean who could have heard? he gagged my mouth
I tried to push him away but his strength outweigh mine
I felt helpless, defenseless and hopeless
So I cried, sadly nobody heard, I mean who could have heard a little girl's cry in the middle of a lonely, cold n' dark night?
So dark that I couldn't see his face
I cried so bad that my tears could fill a bucket
I could feel my clothes trenching but I couldn't come to their rescue for my hands were helpless
When I think about it I sometimes think it was my fault, perhaps I might have been a little reckless
But how was I to know? I can't even remember his face
All I remember is the cloth in my mouth and oh!
The cloth that still holds the truth, the whole truth
I recall my hands struggling to flee from his and there he was enjoying his moment on top of an innocent girl's body!
I felt so dirty that to this day when I enter the shower I wish I could wash away the memory together with the blood stains and the sores that no time will ever heal!
Wherever he'd taken his conscious that night, I wondered if he ever had any
Because if he had, he would have wanted to protect me from that empty coldly cold night instead took advantage of me and took away from me the only thing that makes a woman a virgin
He took away my chastity and left me with the blues
Little did I realize that I was jumping from a hot pot to the real fire when I ran away from the beatings at home
How could I know? For both spells pain in the mind of a minor
All I wanted was to flee…and be free…