by: Adam N. Duran
(The Forgotten Poet)
"I love you,
you are kind! "
These words flutter;
filling my heart with an unrelenting bliss.
"Yet, my finger is indeed consumed with a cold
and empty loneliness.
Desiring to rid its incompleteness,
yearning to shed its nakedness.
If you truly love me.
I implore you to shelter this soulless finger from ill-repute,
and a bitter worthlessness.
Please, my love…
Will you fill my heart with what it yearns for most?
Will you bestow a ring? "
Her words so maddening;
challenging my battered soul into feelings of nobility and self-worth.
She was beautiful…
She was kind…
She filled my heart…
My soul and my mind with love absolute.
So deeply I longed to reside by her side;
to fill her soul full of warmth,
with that of my own.
To caress her lips with feverish fire that I had only dreamt,
yet, still never truly known.
At last, I found myself-calling to the heavens,
with tears of freedom,
from the claws of despair and loneliness.
For I had found a pure soul,
one that contests my own worn,
empty and bitter core.
No longer shall I fear my torment from those days-of-yore.
Nor the hatred of a bitter betrayal from a past lover I've tried to ignore.
The only price my life was worth,
is that of her own.
I endowed her a ring so sparse in beauty,
it paralleled the delicate beauty I had come to know.
Yet, an utter dread had found its ways into my delirious head.
The price of such a gem was in essence…
Difficult to obtain.
So I sold my estate
and all my wherewithal,
in order to dress the beautiful finger…
to hide its nakedness from this jaded and gray fated world.
"O' at last, I shall never again be alone.
my fair and beautiful man,
have won my heart with this simple act of devotion,
devotion in which you built upon a weave and stitch of love;
A love that tis ever so hard to obtain.
O' splendid creature,
is this harsh and dismal word we call love!
But… But a word ever so beautiful.
my clothes are ragged,
matted and holed.
O' my sweet man,
my vestments are unbecoming of a bride,
a bride who is to wed such a chivalrous man I have learnt you to be!
With your love,
would you favor me?
Will you grant me clothes?
So I may discard these dismal rags of old."
Upon hearing my love's desperate cries for a right all souls have,
(yet, many do not!)
I found my heart filled with a desperate sadness I could not bear;
a sadness within my very soul.
Twas this moment I had found a longing;
a longing I had yet to feel before.
An urge so powerful to shield such beauty from this earth,
an earth blanketed with misery and despair.
I slowly removed my clothes,
so not to add a single wrinkle or fray a single stitch.
As my one true heartbeat,
dress in my fine linen.
I sat naked yet blessed with her gaze of cheer,
joy and a giddiness that caught my breath.
It made my heart soar,
as she danced and laughed and cheered.
For she found solace,
and I… Adornment with the warmth of my vestments she now wore.
"Twas sweet and enchanting the proclivity you adorn on such as I.
But yet, you still have not granted my childhood wish!
Why must you ignore me so?
For my heart,
there is a love I have predisposed…
I now see your love for me is incomplete!
For I have yet to be furnished a home.
If you truly have love for a poor vagrant peasant girl such as me.
I implore that you acquire a dwelling of our own;
for I fear kind sir…
I have no fixed abode! "
As I held her,
waiting for her strong embrace.
I felt an emptiness stir in her restlessness.
So, Twas a home I granted her.
Yet, it felt amiss.
For the nights grew long;
the days rocked with a growing loneliness.
Her heart's appetite fed fears,
that her soul would not be whole.
She began to take her leave from me,
as I sat upon the damp cellar floor.
Yearning to be with her,
to feel her warmth and love once more.
Yet, my resolve still loomed,
and happiness I would bestow to my only love.
Twas my quest;
my only desire was to see her smile.
"You shameful little man...
Why must my worn and tired eyes,
look upon you naked
and lying in such filth.
Is it my eyes that despise you so?
For I absolutely love you too death;
(of this you must know.)
Only now do I gaze upon you with pity and disgust.
For the sight of you burns my eyes,
and grants me no lust.
Yes, tis my very own eyes that mistreat you so.
My little man of filth,
may you grant me your eyes?
For you look upon me with so much love,
while I look upon you with growing despair.
If I only had your eyes,
then my heart shall be filled with the very same beauty,
those eyes surely see."
Twas her wish...
So, I shall grant her deep longing desire.
Naked, cold and alone, I wondered,
seeking the tool to do the job.
So as to gain that love I now seem to lack.
At last, I came upon a wooden spoon to help me do the deed.
Ever so slowly,
so as not to damage nor bruise my love's new blue eyes…
I plunged the cursed tool into my head.
Working it in deeper,
moving it to and fro.
Feeling the warmth of blood dance its way down my naked body below;
pooling at my feet.
For in my worn heart,
hope began to grow!
It was with this,
my love shall surely be complete!
And bestow such a gaze of love,
lace with a desire for my miserable self.
I screamed a bitter cry of pain and disbelief,
as the first of thy deeds was complete.
The other proved to pop out much easier to my relief.
Tis my gift to she;
so I laid them at her beautiful feet.
For this is for my love;
now pray she may see such beauty in me!
Her cries were that of glee.
"I surely can see my supposed love now.
Yet, I find you old,
a bittered naked soul.
Mayhap my love will once more grow?
However, my sight is clear,
for there is little beauty lift to gaze upon.
For your unique blue
And beautiful eyes are now gone!
All I now see is two bloodied holes;
holes that fill thy soul with an unabashed horror!
Mayhap in time I can look past the horror I now see,
when I gaze upon thee? "
My love took her leave.
A confusing blackness clouded my endless nights.
Naked and alone upon my dungeon floor.
I confess… I tried to weep.
Yet, I had forgotten how!
For I had no tears to guide my sorrow now.
"Wake up you mistake of a meat…"
O' tis thy love coming to claim me…
Or so I had wished within my soul that this was to be…
"At last, mayhap If you grant me your tongue,
I shall speak of such beauty in song, poem and verse;
that you once cleverly crafted for me!
Tis your beautiful spoken words,
that had once filled my soul with a passion,
a passion I'd forgotten I known.
A passion that made my desire for you absolute.
A tale of love spoken in the purest fashion.
For there had been no ill ever uttered,
from that marvelous tongue you slinged so beautifully."
"Once more you lump of decaying rot!
What ‘tis a silver tongue without your lips?
Lips that had molded a sonnet of a loves swollen heart;
and with a smile sought… of course.
Surely you must see… (giggle)
Well, mayhap you could,
If only you did not gifted your eyes to me.
Surely you must sense;
That I may love you if your tongue and lips I possess? "
Yes… Yes… anything for she…
I had tried to moan.
"You must have also known,
I must have a way to listen to such beautiful tones.
Could you part with those ears as well?
Tis my desire to hear all the beautifully spoken words,
from that sly tongue of yours.
That tongue molded by those delicate lips!
If you want my love… It tis what I wish! "
Glimmer of hope danced in my head,
and a fire swelled in my heart.
For mayhap this was hope?
hope that her heart could still be with me.
There was not a moment to hesitate.
I set upon the tongue,
as a loon upon the edge of madness.
Feeling the tearing of a tongue I had once crafted so well.
For this was it;
this time she will be complete;
and she shall love me for the gifts given for she.
The bitter taste of blood filled my mouth;
as it begun running down my chin,
Bathing my chest in a crimson heat of gore.
Warming my nakedness,
as it swam down my stomach;
covering my manhood,
Then painting the dungeon floor,
mixing with my piss,
and my shit.
The pain soared as my hands grabbed…
Grabbed my blood-soaked silver tool!
The sound was horrific as my tongue ripped free from my throat.
My lips a blood-soaked mess sheard off,
mercifully with greater ease.
My ears first echoed a ‘pop, '
before at last the sound of cracking
And tearing… Set them free.
She spat upon my brow before claiming her prize.
Running from me in sheer delight,
as my own painful woes gave rise!
I was once more alone;
in this dungeon beneath our home
In time my hands were next.
given so she…
"May caress such beauty she had never known…"
My nose so she…
"May smell the fragrance of happiness…"
My feet so she…
"May dance and be joyful…"
My manhood so she…
"May feel the lust of a throbbing passion."
Miserable man was I…
I had given it all;
still she is incomplete.
For she still lacked what I cherish so deeply.
I love her with every part of my being.
I heard his voice in a laugh of both triumph
I felt her new suitor as he pissed,
and defecated upon my remains.
I screamed in pain…
I cried in dismay...
I listened to my love,
Moaning in the throes of passion as I lay…
After his gleeful release,
I found myself-stunned by silence.
(Peep nor whisper did stray.)
Yes, I hear footsteps so soft and light.
My heart filled with a bitter,
And horrific misguided love.
For this succubus… This evil muse!
It twas she,
(my true love.)
Coming towards me.
‘She came back for me;
To make good on her promise,
A promise that was now a distant memory.'
Or so I had thought!
She leaned towards me…
And whispers so callously…
My blood once hot,
now flooded my yearnful heart with a cold dismay.
Her voice spoke harshly;
though I loved to hear it all the same.
"Piece of meat…
Dear… Dear… Piece of meat…
You have given all to me,
but, I am still incomplete…
May I have your heart?
For I have found one fare fairer than thee!
I have no heart to love such as he."
"I love you…
Will love you…
till my dying day! "
I slurred and mumbled.
"Take my heart…
Take my soul…
The words gurgled a crimson offense;
yet, the meaning was well met.
With this I offered up my chest.
My love took her leave…
Leaving me with her final words
"Why are you crying?
For my heart is too carefree for a worthless soul,
that you have come to be.
My finger is now warm,
(by the gold band that is rightfully mine!)
My clothes are not holed nor torn,
and my grand abode is now my own.
It is truly my gaze that hates you so.
For your chest is empty;
not worth the full heart I have been bestowed.
Now, you worthless infuriating piece of meat.
Listen to my words carefully…
For my love you never had!
I could not or want not love a man with no heart;
nor could I love a man who has been torn apart!
And finally ‘Meat, '
I curse you,
and pray for a lengthy death and demise!
Even the maggots in which consume your innards;
could never love a man such as you…
Nor may the flies! "
As I lay bleeding,
waiting for the simple release of death;
I was fraught with pain and darkness.
Twas but a lipless grin that found thy broken
and bloodied face.
For thy dying thought gave me an unsettling solace.
"She is now complete.
For I now pass for the dirt I am worth.
She is now complete!
She stole everything from me.
For I loved she…
And she is now complete!
Now I must go with a miserable bliss of happiness...
...My love… is… now... complete…"