RoseAnn V. Shawiak Poems

Lying in a wakeful dream, wondering how it feels to be myself in this twisted darkness of fate.
Wanting to forget the world and it's trials as I grow older, hoping the stairs to enlightenment are in front of me.
Lying here in a wakeful dream, mind thinking of many options open to me, wondering how life is going to feel in the future of my destiny.
...

Hidden in a corner of life, not wanting to become part of it because of all the turmoil being caused by other people.
Twisting and turning, wanting to avoid facing anything right now.
Looking out into the darkened distance at other sides of twilight as it holds a fascination within my mind.
Wandering through a variety of entrances and exits, sauntering down vacant lots, just to see what is there.
...

Walking around in nighttime air, listening to sounds reaching my ears from around the neighborhood.
Creating new memories with the fragrance of heavenly gardens, allowing generous periods of decisive reasoning.
...

Reality biting me hard,
causing facilitation of pain and nausea to keep attacking me,
which is causing concern because I want to get out of the hospital and on my way to rehab and home.
...

Solemnly thinking, way deep inside, searching for something that continues to elude me, time after time.
Considering every avenue, wondering why nothing comes into sight where I can visualize it and make sense out of it.
...

Stars forming in my mind,
shining their wonder down upon me from afar.
A joining of spirits, giving me something to
look forward to every night when the sun goes down.
...

Jouncing and turning, soul moving with rhythm and taking every precaution to continue without stopping.
Serving all thoughts in vague undertakings, then watching them get brighter with every forward motion, taking precedence without even stroking them.
Placing all notes in line, touching every note with a special fervor and lightness.
...

Deeply praying for an end to this torture chamber called life, and yet, there were many good times and silent undertakings, keeping me going, living on edges, perilously close to death's waiting arms.
...

Soothing harmonies settling in my brain, giving me time to reminisce about all things yesterday.
Being in the moment, watching images as they proceed to act out what I
...

Justifying my place here on earth, rain pouring itself over me,
filling up my loneliness, emptiness, abandonment with tears to cry when I want.
Yet, they won't do, because I need so much more than what I have been given.
Fracturing my thoughts with lightening striking me down.
...