'I'm tired' has become my life, a long lost devotion whilst my time slowly ticks on. I don't know where I am going or what I did wrong but my life seems so pointless, yet I'm still here 'strong.' I am a weak pathetic soul, ungrateful and untrue. The way I see it now is that there is nothing you can do. I allow you to live oblivious to my burning pain. Hiding behind my smiles has become an endless game, a losing war that I somehow cannot ignore. Instead of weapons of mass destruction I have a shield of pure deflection, deflection of love and kindness but absorbent of hate and vengeance.
I long for somebody's sanctuary when I sit here alone, I deserve the pain and suffering as it has been so clearly shown. I don't want rescuing but I don't want to do this on my own. My sunshine has turned to rain and my laughs have turned to shame. I try to erase memories like mistakes on a page but they don't fade. Pencil mark in grey that spread like fire wont go like this deathly desire.
Words unjust fill my broken mind and leave me in a war in which the answers I will not find.With this war one shall fall but it's between me so that cannot be, because if one side needs to die then surely that means I will perish no matter who wins or decease. It's a war between two sides of my despairing heart if one side no longer beats the other will no longer exist.
So oh gracious mind, where do I begin to draw the line? I don't see a light at all, all I read is the time that slowly runs out as the days go by although in total honesty that is quite fine as to me it is indeed divine but I look to you for words of wisdom but betrayed with thoughts of misery. I long to see a happy day where love conquers and hate resigns however this is indeed unlikely as it is too late.