Sadie Vanity Poems

it wasnt my fault
i tried to resist but he didnt stop
and i do cry
its so hard
...

i know who i am
im dark and quiet
creative and myself
dont care what people say
...

i used to feel and be so happy on the outside
but on the inside the real me was trapped
when i look back now i think of how stupid i was, i am so much more alive now on the outside
but inside i am so dead
...

I sit in this world
with so much around me
thoughts of certain things invade my mind
with a heart filled to the top with darkness
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like a soldier im in war
my enemy is life and feeling
the hole i dug next to my trench
is where i shall lye my feelings
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i feel down at rock bottom
i look dead as if i have been laid to rest for a while
but here i stand feeling and looking as i do
my heart still beats and my eyes still reflect
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in the snow i walk looking at everything coated in beautiful white
thoughts run through my head so many i cannot count
as i watch the snow fall i realize that its as beautiful as life itself
as i watch the snow fall i think of her and how i wish she could be beside me to see what i see just one last time
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I sit around sometimes and let my thoughts eat me alive
Till one day I thought of you
my birth mother and the flesh and blood of what is supposed to be my sister
after 3 years of getting on with my life I had completely forgotten
...