1.Sea Memorial
Slippin intae Fittie in the dreich sea haar
Twa score o whalermen, taigles in their hair
Langsyne they perished ower the herbour bar
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1.The Cyard's Kist
'There's nae guid comes
A's wrack, fin the Cyards are here
Wi a birn o bairns at their back
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1.Humpty Dumpty
At a gaitherin o the glitterati,
Efter the raw salmon wis communin
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1.The Daith o Merlin
The wizard, Merlin, dreed his weird
In Stobo, ower the altarstane
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1.YOWE'S LOVE POEM TAE THE RAM
Yer een are like the hardest neep
Yer powe's as fair's a dyke
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1.THE WIZARD O THE NORTH.
There is a wizard in the North
He makks a magic brew
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Clowns often grow in backyard plots of misery
Take Chaplin, born to a drunk whose liver was on the blink
And a mad mother, locked away from his love
Talented folk, but damaged, a fragile childhood
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`I must set fire to my beard today'
The beekeeper's husband said
And the blue tits told the chaffinches
And the chaffinches upped and fled
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1. I’m Mr Pavlova’s comb-over
I flap in the wind like a wing
An when he is washing his bald bits
I like to hang down like a swing
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