Stuart McLean (born April 19, 1948 in Montreal West, Quebec) is a Canadian radio broadcaster, humourist, monologist, and author, best known as the host of the CBC Radio program The Vinyl Cafe. He is often described as a "story-telling comic", though he has written many serious stories. He is known for his distinctive voice and his ability to alter his popular stories to make them ... more »
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A Warning on Spontaneous Combustion
O whisky is the king of drinks,
Renowned the world o'er,
But here's a word o' caution,
Tae think of when ye pour.
There's a certain combination,
That tastes so very good,
But when it hits your tummy,
And mixes with your food.
That's when the trouble starts,
For yer pleasure hits overload,
And half an hour later,
Ye'll suddenly explode.
So there ye are in the pub,
Completely engulfed in flames,
And yer good wife's dashing home,
Tae lodge insurance claims.
Well now that I have told ye,
Don't say ye've no' been warned,
So don't try it oot ...