Taylin Gellner Poems

I don't like looking in the mirror but my body tells me I have to because maybe those 2 eggs and slice of toast were the true tipping point for that extra pound I've been trying to shake for days. I don't remember the taste of fried chicken but my tongue is no stranger to coffee, water, and tic tacks. they say you can measure your happiness but my mood has become dependent on 3 numbers on a scale not the quality of my day. I am so tired. I am tired of checking my body every time I pass my reflection, making sure it's no different than yesterday or the last time I felt skinny. I am tired of going to bed hungry because if I eat any more I might not like what I see in the morning. I am tired of being cold all the time, of brushing out clumps of my hair, of counting food like its a number because i can't have too many calories or that stupid app on my phone is gonna call me a failure. I am tired of caring about everything you say because maybe you didn't mean 'fat' when you called me 'big' but now I wont eat for 2 days just to make sure your wrong. So go ahead eat your own words because I'm not hungry.
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I miss the boy he was.
the boy who held me so close.
his hugs so warm,
so tight,
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I see the hallway stretch just a little too long,
getting to the end feels like running a marathon.
I see lockers blur into the same tan line,
strangers and friends laughing in circles
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