I Guess
Curling my hair,
brushing my teeth,
painting my face,
and I think I get why.
Don't get me wrong;
I super love to look nice.
But maybe I only do,
because I want to look like her.
It's a new development for me.
I guess I like girls.
But I think i've known,
since I kissed my best friend in the fourth grade.
It doesn't feel wrong,
and, no, I am not afraid
of my family or my pastor
or those bullshit activist groups
that say I'm a sin or whatever.
No, I am afraid of
not being right for her.
I am afraid of my indecision.
Because what a wrencher would that be?
To feel that a girl like me
loves you so completely,
but then: Surprise!
I like that D again!
No, I am not afraid
of what others
do to me.
I am afraid of
what
I
can
do.