Zachariah Lovespoon

Zachariah Lovespoon Poems

Zachariah Lovespoon Biography

Born in 1907 to Lord and Lady Chesterfield Lovespoon at home, in Winterndale Abbey. I spent the First World War cleaning cinnamon volositude conductor plates on glosification tributaries in Acton at the Ministry *Eccles cake factory, for the War effort. *Zach fact: (Eccles cakes saved thousands of lives on both sides during and just after the First World War) In 1939 I was 32 and with War seemingly upon us again I immediately volunteered for the front line, leaving behind me the small parish of Woodbastwick. I spent the next sixteen years administering cups of tea and various cakes and *biscuits to the wounded at front lines in fourteen separate conflicts across the globe. *Zach fact: (In the early years we only had rich tea to stem serious blood loss, it was only much later (in 1967) that digestives were first used in the British Army, although they had been used in parts of Scandinavia from as early as 1936) I left the army in 1955 with 63 major honours & medals (including France's highest honour the award for Courage & Resilience in the face of the Enemy with Professionalism & Excellence. Or CREPE) . More importantly I had, in sixteen years, acquired the most comprehensive knowledge of confectionary medicine anywhere in the Anglican world and written my first three great works, Observations on the Preventative and Recuperative Properties of Darjeeling, and under pseudonyms, Catch22 and Brave New World. I quickly put the army behind me and set about a new task. For the next ten years were to be spent as a missionary. I traversed the globe taking the message to some of the most inaccessible communities in the world including what is regarded as the world’s most barbarous civilisation. Untouched by democracy and with no inkling of what was happening in the outside world, for generations this inward looking people had learned to fear difference and progress. I felt I had it in me to help them, but alas due to the horrendous side effects from my malaria medication (*Pink Wafers) I was unable to do as much as I would have liked and unfortunately little has changed in Tec Sos and the Tec Sun’s are much the same now as they were then. *Zach Fact: (It was unknown back then but Pink Wafers actually have no bearing on the individual’s propensity to avoid becoming infected by Malaria which is a haematozoan protozoan parasite called Plasmodium belonging to the order Sporozoa which of course can only be prevented with jaffa cake coupled with regular trifle sponge infusions, it is now thought that Pink Wafers may even attract the Anopheles mosquito which is responsible for transmitting the disease to humans) . That is when I had my epiphiny, at the age of fifty eight I retired to a small hamlet near Happisburgh on the Norfolk coast from where I write poetry.)

The Best Poem Of Zachariah Lovespoon

Deano

Deano my Deano
Yorkshire your mother land
Land of Luv’s
Land of Bread cakes
Sheffield, Land where you live

Deano my Deano
A land of great rumours
Deano my Deano
Land of the Arts Tower
A land were students live

Deano my Deano
A land blessed by Cod & Mushy pea
On the day of relegation
Red God threw a strop
Coal like rain
He dropped some acid like rain

Deano my Deano
YOU’RE NOT FROM AFRICA MATE!

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