Father - Poem by maria goodison
Mother said I have to let things go
and call you father, daddy or dad.
The anger swells within me so
at having to think your the one
I've been looking for.
My childish dreams
have been torn asunder and 'why? '
is all I have left to wonder?
Asking why were you never there?
Was it me that made you leave?
Why no letter sent, no phone call made?
Mother says to mend the bridge,
to let things flow and flowers to grow.
I'm sat across from you now,
trying to keep the smile there,
struggling to keep
my fist from tightening
and the rage in my voice
Why you didn't come and see me?
Why you didn't write or call?
Why I'm left wondring 'why? '
Mother wants me to forgive and forget,
to let the anger go,
to let the lonely child fade
that's crying out for you
and finding only a void.
She begs for me to be nice
and shake your hand once or twice.
To tell you of all I've done
and show you school reports.
To take your advice
and don't forget to smile right? .
But where were you,
when I fell apart?
Where were you,
when I hit the dark
and could not find the light?
Where were you,
when I locked myself out?
And where the hell were you
when I was coerced to plead guilty
to deeds I did not do?
Did you not have the time
to make a call or write a few lines?
To just stop and think
'God! I have a daughter to! '
I'm sat across from you now
and find your eyes are dark.
Theres no sorry or explanation
and the hollow words I hear you speak
mean nothing more than a page you read in a book.
Well thank you so,
Now I see your nothing more
than the man next door.
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