maria goodison

(06,10,1983 / perth scotland)


Mother said I have to let things go
and call you father, daddy or dad.
The anger swells within me so
at having to think your the one
I've been looking for.

My childish dreams
have been torn asunder and 'why? '
is all I have left to wonder?

Asking why were you never there?
Was it me that made you leave?
Why no letter sent, no phone call made?

Mother says to mend the bridge,
to let things flow and flowers to grow.

I'm sat across from you now,
trying to keep the smile there,
struggling to keep
my fist from tightening
and the rage in my voice
from heightening.

Why you didn't come and see me?
Why you didn't write or call?
Why I'm left wondring 'why? '

Mother wants me to forgive and forget,
to let the anger go,
to let the lonely child fade
that's crying out for you
and finding only a void.

She begs for me to be nice
and shake your hand once or twice.
To tell you of all I've done
and show you school reports.
To take your advice
and don't forget to smile right? .

But where were you,
when I fell apart?
Where were you,
when I hit the dark
and could not find the light?
Where were you,
when I locked myself out?
And where the hell were you
when I was coerced to plead guilty
to deeds I did not do?

Did you not have the time
to make a call or write a few lines?
To just stop and think
'God! I have a daughter to! '

I'm sat across from you now
and find your eyes are dark.
Theres no sorry or explanation
and the hollow words I hear you speak
mean nothing more than a page you read in a book.

Well thank you so,
Now I see your nothing more
than the man next door.

Submitted: Saturday, December 14, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

The truth behind closed doors

Comments about this poem (Father by maria goodison )

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  • Dhiren Corey Mccullum (5/16/2014 12:54:00 AM)

    nicely portrayed the family relation.. but it just the one face of the coin.. flip the coin and try see it from the fathers shoes, there may be completely new story... nice job Maria ;) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 126 Points Nika Mcguin (2/21/2014 6:41:00 PM)

    Unwritten Soul is right though. I realize it's hard to forgive an air-apparent father. I had one, and it took me 23 years to understand his past and why he couldn't be with me. I realize that everything happens for a reason. If I had grown up with my father I would have had less opportunities in life, less stability, and it might have been even harder for me to forgive him possibly. Since he was removed from me its alot easier to forgive him, because I don't know him like that. We are slowly but surely building a bond now, and it is worth it to get to know your father. He is half of what made you, and that's pretty important. I know not everyone can forgive, even in 20+ years, but is worth it if you can. It opens new doors, that in truth you've always wanted. Anger just covers hurt. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 131 Points Sally Plumb Plumb (12/21/2013 2:14:00 AM)

    This is the statement I wae given when quite young... God gives us our relations but allows us to choose our friends, (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 521 Points Unwritten Soul (12/20/2013 4:38:00 AM)

    I guess the mom was right, she knew what the best for her daughter...I dont think a father ever forgotten his daughter, lot of complicated stories that maybe hard for him to tell...i believed the father suffering too...and if he never wanted a child again, he will never come to you..I guess enough for him to know and hear word of Dad from his daughter, though its hard to be closer...but as blood bond two souls, i believed everything can be fine, just a bit forgiveness should give it away...and the door will be open with different key..different destiny..You wrote a very nice story, i can feel it..Is it true? about you? whatever dont let love fades away family always reborn in heart when it is ready to forgive_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 346 Points Geoffrey Fafard (12/15/2013 3:37:00 AM)

    So many simply cannot get it out. Beautifully done. Deep and sad and flowing. Even in anger there is grace and style. good job Maria keep on writing. (Report) Reply

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