Amanda Austin

I hate the lies and I hate all the sorrow and grief
Everytime I make up another excuse for us it breaks me deeper inside
I know I can never tell the whole truth
I know there will always be another lie
...

I don't know what to say,
the words just won't come
I don't know what to do,
I just can't seem to make up my mind
...

I feel like our memories are slipping away
I'm trying to hold on before they start to fade
I don't wanna let go of all the good in the past
I just can't believe that everything turned bad so fast
...

I'm sorry,
I don't say it and really mean it too much
I don't think and really care quite enough
I do these things, they don't seem wrong
...

It's okay, just do it...
Just another hole in the wall
Just another set of bloody knuckles
Just another question leading to an angry sigh
...

What is wrong with me
What is wrong with you
Why are you acting this way
Why am I feeling like this
...

I wake up feeling drained and restless
I lay there feeling angry yet hopeful
I wonder to myself if I enjoy it or not
I ask myself if it's worth it or not
...

I start out asking myself
Why I let you do this to me,
and I always end up answering
'Because one day I think it will be worth it'
...

Feels like I'm always watching through the window,
not from the outside in but from the inside out
I stand inside and I hate to be here, I want to be free
tired of feeling so trapped
...

You keep asking more questions knowing deep down
The answers will only break your heart more
You're unable to pull yourself away from the thought
Of my unfixable actions
...

I awake drenched in sweat with my breath cut short,
Relieved that it was just a nightmare
But when I roll over to see your resting body,
I realize that you're not there
...

You're walking my way so I force out a smile,
though it feels so fake
When you call my name I make my voice cheerful,
though it sounds so strained
...

When you ask why I'm so tired,
I tell you I was up late studying
When you ask why I'm so sensitive
I tell you my feelings are easily hurt
...

I'm screaming as loud as I can
and nobody seems to hear me
I'm running as fast as I can
and I still can't get away
...

The feelings are so hard and I’m so cold inside
I can’t catch my breath and I can’t keep trying to hide
To the surface of my heart my dream pushes forward but
Deep down lies the pain of reality
...

So much to say but the words just wont come
So many thoughts that I cant sort them all out
So much frustration I cant even move
So much pain I can hardly catch my breath
...

The best friends are the ones that will lend
You anything even when they know they’ll never get it back
The best friends are the ones that will go through anything with you as long as It means helping you see it through
The best friends are the ones that don’t leave you alone when you need them The most, no matter how bad you wish they would
...

I won't let you go, I'll hold on tight
We'll overcome every obstacle and win the fight
No matter what happens, I'll always be there
No matter what happens, know that I care
...

Though it hasn't been too long, it feels like a lifetime,
I know I'm living in love

It's the way you look at me like there is nothing more beautiful
...

As if I'm a fresh water fish in the sea,
I feel so lost
As if I'm a puddle stomped in,
I feel so empty
...