So scared to lose what I once had,
I pushed away to leave you first.
Now never know what might have been,
To just go back and let you in.
...
Small-town lady exploring poetry. I have been writing for the last few years, since discovering poetry allows me to connect with myself. Writing poetry lets me better understand my reactions to the world around me. This is my first experience allowing others to read my thoughts. I would welcome your feedback.)
Scared To Lose
So scared to lose what I once had,
I pushed away to leave you first.
Now never know what might have been,
To just go back and let you in.
Your arms were home.
Once in life I was complete.
With matching hearts a steady beat,
I left as I was scared to lose.
You could have broke me shattered or refused.
Trusting yields a power deep.
Yielding leaves an open heart.
It may be soothed and ever well,
Or it may bleed and break and swell.
Trusting never works for me,
I closed my heart and pushed away.
My rearview mirror pains me,
Haunts me, ever taunts.
My Fears caused what I feared most...
Your deadened eyes, now lingering ghost.
To hear your words of giving up.
They hurt as much as I dreamed of.
And I know, I pushed you there.
I do regret it,
every day