Ashley Morrison

I sit in the park and dwell for this boy, i love so well.
He took my heart away from me, he says he wanted to set me free.
I see a girl on his lap, he says things to her that he never said to me.
I ran home to cry to my bed, not a word to my mother was ever said.
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As she sits in the bathroom, with a razor blade to her wrist.
Tears streaming out of her eyes, and she slowy clenches her fist.
She tries to hide the pain inside, but cannot seem to get away.
From anything and anyone, fighting the pain each day.
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Maybe killing myself wouldn't be so wrong.
Ive lived a hard life, it doesnt need to be long.
I'm hurt and broken, that no one can see.
That the blood from the knife is dripping all down me.
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I have many problems, many fears
Built up angerm, drink away my tears.
Intoxicating myself until I am calm,
Regardless of the fact that I am hurting my mom.
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You only brought me heartache,
you were the risk in life I was willing to take.
Now I have a wall, where no one can get past,
My one and only regret, we fell in love too fast.
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I saw you just the other day, and everything seemed to be fine.
Now your getting in my face, surely crossing the line.
Next thing I know slap across my face.
How can you call yourself a man, your more like a disgrace.
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To you I am apologizing for the sins I have made, for the mistakes that I did make, and the regret that i stayed.
I'm sorry for lieing, while looking in your eyes.
Watching you get hurt, by my selfishness lies.
To you I am sorry for cheating my way out.
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I went to this party, with no intentsions at all.
Drink after drink, I started to begin to fall.
Stumbling, feeling lighter within each sip.
Next thing you know I am pinned to the floor, i hear my dress rip.
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I saw reality hit me, which path to take?
I knew the two choices, knew the decision I had to make.
I regret the choice, I took the easy way out.
I wish at the time I knew what I was thinking about.
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If these walls could only talk to you.
Or even grasp as to what you are going through.
Because these walls cannot talk, I will do so instead.
Trust me when I say you are not alone, don't wish that you were dead.
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It's been the longest, most toughest year.
Not having you close, not having you near.
I miss your silly jokes, that smile you could always put on my face.
But now i know that you my friend, are in a better place.
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I sit here and I cry, about the loneliness I feel.
Strange because I have many people whom love me, though that love does not seem real.
I've yet to experience happiness, depressed is what I know.
I've went completely crazy, went way beyond my low.
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You have hurt me deeply, and I wish that you could only see.
How much I want to overcome this, be let go and set free.
Yet I see your face often, yet no words are to be made.
And as I sit here and write this, I watch the few good memories we had slowly fade.
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I wrote this poem while My grandfather was in the hospital, unfortunately, he passed 2 days later. R.I.P Feb 11/08

My dear papa, please if you will hold on.
Find your inner strength, I don't know how to cope if you are gone.
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I know sometimes you cant see it,
but i really do care.
I reminise on all the good times,
all of the memories that we share.
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