My Problems, My Fears Poem by Ashley Morrison

I have many problems, many fears
Built up angerm, drink away my tears.
Intoxicating myself until I am calm,
Regardless of the fact that I am hurting my mom.
I slowly pull out the '26',
to give myself my fix.
To forget about the pain that I endure,
thinking that alchohol could be my cure.
I cannot talk to anyone, I seem to have a bulit up wall.
That blockage to my heart won't seem to fall.
Everything created by my messed up life,
Nothing seems to help, should i pick up that knife?
But i know killing myself is wrong, and something that cowards do.
But can't anyone see right now what i need is you?
I need my best friend who hates me right now,
When did i let my life get to this and how?
Many problems occuring with my father,
who treated me nothing like his daughter.
Who i had to watch hurt my mom from day to day,
there was nothing i could do, nothing i could say.
The alchohol rageing through him,
now im drinking just like him?
I would watch my mom cry night after night,
This intoxicated man putting up one hell of a fight.
Why am i turning out like that, drinking all the time.
Am i just like that man i hate, or simply losing my mind?
My relationship with my mom is slowing drifting away,
im pushing her further away each day.
I'm breaking her heart, as we do drift apart.
I dont think she knows how much i need her,
instead of alchohol could she be my cure?
Could she be the one to save me and help me see,
Im slowly loosingg my life long dream?
Maybe that is why i always hear her scream.
Not to hurt me but to help,
there is so many heartaches that i have felt.
Hopefully she could change me from being a zero,
Maybe my mother, could be my hero.