Every day is always the same
begging to cry, not a tear to be found
aching to scream, not a voice to be had
silently writhing in agony
...
Why do I feel this way?
Lonely even if surrounded
In pain even when relaxed
just waiting for this all to be over
...
Some days are harder than others
some moments worse
smile and lie to most of the world
say it's nothing to worry about to the rest
...
I feel like i'm always living my life in blame
It's always my fault
when I screw up
When I do nothing
...
Tears
Every day is always the same
begging to cry, not a tear to be found
aching to scream, not a voice to be had
silently writhing in agony
a constant depression settled around
a constant pain taking root beneath
a constant isolation just waiting to implode
all without a release
any passionate feelings locked away
a waterfall of tears to be had, only ever a mist to be found
a symphony of screams to be had, only a whimper to be heard
just an endless stream of emotions clamped off
every day
I get up
I socialize
I pretend
the hole in my chest gets only bigger
an infected pus flows freely from out the wounds
thoughts of death come fondly
nearly always repulsive
the darkness
a well
barely tapped
inescapable
this hell