I sat down to write this poem.
Usually that is not my style.
So I am opening my mind and letting it spew.
...
When he draws me near so many things become so clear.
Tiny things become so magnified and significant.
Good and bad.
His hands caressing me,
...
Not sure why I was thinking it was real..
All the love and wonderful things I thought I really did feel.
Maybe it was a dream when I though my heart did heal.
...
What is this feeling that I carry around..
The one that kicks me further to the ground?
This feeling around that I carry with me..
It never lets me be.
...
I do not care what you have to say to me.
Your words are of no meaning.
You walk this earth yet you don't exist,
Your love for me, I must resist.
...
This is a story...a story of old,
One that I am sure has already been told.
Just not my way.
...
And when it's down it's down.
I can't seem to get off this merry-go-round.
One day there are smiles with treasures of bliss.
The next I am saying 'What the hell is this'?
...
Three little boys
Into everything.
Throwing this,
Throwing that.
...
Why is it that you allow this venom that runs thru our veins to destroy yet again another generation?
The twisted tainted past of wrong decisions selfishness evil and disgust that plague the spirit man begging to be freed inside yourself...
I sit in despair and helplessness as you taunt your loved ones so desperately watching you hanging dangling by a thread so close to losing your life and the lives of those around you to the agony of self destruction and lies, loathing hate and anguish seeping from your pores with the smell of alcohol and fury.
And at what point exactly did you decide to open the door to all those things take over your life...causing you and everone else around you strife?
...
I am not the same as you..
This I hope you will see..
I thought what we had was special..that you really believed in me.
...