Oh, it was a merry, gladsome day,
When the April Fool met the Queen of May;
She had roguish eyes and golden hair,
It was an Artless Poster Girl pinned up against my wall,
She was tremendous ugly, she was exceeding tall;
I was gazing at her idly, and I think I must have slept,
A Spider and a Centipede went out to take a walk;
The Centipede said frankly, 'I will listen while you talk,
There lived in ancient Scribbletown a wise old writer-man,
Whose name was Homer Cicero Demosthenes McCann.
Two shall be born the whole world wide apart,
And speak in different tongues, and pay their debts
In different kinds of coin; and give no heed
Each to the other's being. And know not
A canner exceedingly canny
One morning remarked to his granny:
A kitten went a-walking
One morning in July,
And idly fell a-talking
With a great big butterfly.
There was an ambitious young eel
Who determined to ride on a wheel;
But try as he might,
He couldn't ride right,
There was a ridiculous Rat
Who was awfully puffy and fat.
'I'll carry,' he said,
'This plate on my head,
Ten Christmas presents standing in a line;
Robert took the bicycle, then there were nine.
Nine Christmas presents ranged in order straight;