I don't believe in love, I decided long ago:
that other hearts were summer heat and mine was winter snow
I despised them for their impudence, oh such a long way to go!
I bet myself another life that I would never feel too
Others could tell you how he is there.
What went wrong, what stopped ticking,
Where health, medicine, science failed.
I am more interested in why he is there.
The day I killed a leader with my brushstrokes was unremarkable.
I sat in silence, an epiphany
of thought made my pencil throb against lily
The river is rife with the late spring life
and trees are teeming with birds that are singing
and the parks and the streets play host to children
playing, smiling, laughing.
Dark like black like hell, not coming back, stares like knives, like poison darts in my heart, squeezed so tight like lovers first night
with pain pain pain pleasure is absent. (Probably at the doctors.)
I am a
Deliriously dizzy daydreaming despot deluded downwards
Into inviting incriminating incidents. I
am an activist, antisocial atheist addict and apprehensive always about
In the blackness I prowl around my house, a loop of small town minds through mine.
I tried my hand at filmmaking, discovered that Hollywood's a lie.
America doesn't mind. She broods discontentment. She makes our ocean widen.
But the scalpel of age, it is I who can't make it cut.
For your hand,
I would give my whole heart.
We’re moving at the speed of light,
this beaming endless never
Regretting path through life
and love and loss, it flashes past before
Inconceivable to many, this truth:
As the stars washed up on
painful shores, night falls.