Fernanda Ontiveros Poems

Why are they so happy?
what is it that makes them smile?
A little gunpowder in the sky?
I'm confused and laid in bed
...

I have failed myself.
I have failed myself that all I can do is wait.
I have failed myself that when I look you in the eye,
all that I see is yesterday's lies.
...

You killed your god for fun. You killed him because there was nothing else to do, you killed him with your lack of care and a desire full of hate.

Now you look at the mirror, there's nothing to see but your swollen face and you don't like yourself anymore so you scream but no one listens and you scream louder with the little that's left of who you were but still no one listens so you swallow yourself.
...

Acting like you don't care is the only thing making you cry, acting like you don't care is a sin for your soul, but you want to look strong you want to hide your crystal face.

Like a disposal bag you travel through their eyes and like a disposal bag you end up all alone.
...

Just when I thought I was getting better I realized I was as lost as before.

A sudden dew of my true self, then darkness and an eerie whisper of my subconscious wandering through this soul of mine, telling me to avoid, to vanish and conquer the underworld. But if I'm swarming in this, a present time, who grants me the understanding of another dimension? Who assures me that disappearance would ease my mind?
...