I know, I alone
How much it hurts, this heart
With no faith nor law
...
Symbols? I'm sick of symbols...
Some people tell me that everything is symbols.
They're telling me nothing.
What symbols? Dreams...
Let the sun be a symbol, fine...
Let the moon be a symbol, fine...
Let the earth be a symbol, fine...
But who notices the sun except when the rain stops
And it breaks through the clouds and points behind its back
To the blue of the sky?
And who notices the moon except to admire
Not it but the beautiful light it radiates?
And who notices the very earth we tread?
We say earth and think of fields, trees and hills,
Unwittingly diminishing it,
For the sea is also earth.
Okay, let all of this be symbols.
But what's the symbol - not the sun, not the moon, not the earth -
In this premature sunset amidst the fading blue
With the sun caught in expiring tatters of clouds
And the moon already mystically present at the other end of the sky
As the last remnant of daylight
Gilds the head of the seamstress who hesitates at the corner
Where she used to linger (she lives nearby) with the boyfriend who left her?
Symbols? I don't want symbols.
All I want - poor frail and forlorn creature! -
Is for the boyfriend to go back to the seamstress.
...
I am tired, that is clear,
Because, at certain stage, people have to be tired.
Of what I am tired, I don't know:
...
Since we do nothing in this confused world
That lasts or that, lasting, is of any worth,
And even what's useful for us we lose
So soon, with our own lives,
Let us prefer the pleasure of the moment
To an absurd concern with the future,
Whose only certainty is the harm we suffer now
To pay for its prosperity.
Tomorrow doesn't exist. This moment
Alone is mine, and I am only who
Exists in this instant, which might be the last
Of the self I pretend to be.
...
Não sei quantas almas tenho.
Cada momento mudei.
Continuamente me estranho.
Nunca me vi nem achei.
De tanto ser, só tenho alma.
Quem tem alma não tem calma.
Quem vê é só o que vê.
Quem sente não é quem é.
Atento ao que sou e vejo,
Torno-me eles e não eu.
Cada meu sonho ou desejo,
É do que nasce, e não meu.
Sou minha própria paisagem,
Assisto à minha passagem,
Diverso, móbil e só.
Não sei sentir-me onde estou.
Por isso, alheio, vou lendo
Como páginas, meu ser.
O que segue não prevendo,
O que passou a esquecer.
Noto à margem do que li
O que julguei que senti.
Releio e digo, «Fui eu?»
Deus sabe, porque o escreveu.
...
The poet is a faker
Who's so good at his act
He even fakes the pain
Of pain he feels in fact.
And those who read his words
Will feel in his writing
Neither of the pains he has
But just the one they're missing.
And so around its track
This thing called the heart winds,
A little clockwork train
To entertain our minds.
...
Não tenho ninguém que me ame.
'Spera lá, tenho; mas é
Difícil ter-se a certeza
Daquilo em que não se crê.
Não é não crer por descrença,
Porque sei: gostam de mim.
É um não crer por feitio
E teimar em ser assim.
Não tenho ninguém que me ame.
Para este poema existir
Tenho por força que ter
Esta mágoa que sentir.
Que pena não ser amado!
Meu perdido coração!
Etcetera, e está acabado
O meu poema pensado.
Sentir é outra questão…
...
There's no one who loves me.
Hold on, yes there is;
But it's hard to feel certain
About what you don't believe in.
It isn't out of disbelief
That I don't believe, for I know
I'm well liked. It's my nature
Not to believe, and not to change.
There's no one who loves me.
For this poem to exist
I have no choice
But to suffer this grief.
How sad not to be loved!
My poor, forlorn heart!
Et cetera, and that's the end
Of this poem I thought up.
What I feel is another matter...
...
A lavadeira no tanque
Bate roupa em pedra bem.
Canta porque canta, e é triste
Porque canta porque existe;
Por isso é alegre também.
Ora se eu alguma vez
Pudesse fazer nos versos
O que a essa roupa ela fez,
Eu perderia talvez
Os meus destinos diversos.
Há uma grande unidade
Em, sem pensar nem razão,
E até cantando a metade,
Bater roupa em realidade...
Quem me lava o coração?
...
The washwoman beats the laundry
Against the stone in the tank.
She sings because she sings and is sad
For she sings because she exists:
Thus she is also happy.
If I could do in verses
What she does with laundry,
Perhaps I would lose
My surfeit of fates.
Ah, the tremendous unity
Of beating laundry in reality,
Singing songs in whole or in part
Without any thought or reason!
But who will wash my heart?
...