Sorry you went bankrupt
'Cause your partner stole your money,
And that your wife went with him,
Because she was his honey;
...
“January fifteenth of any year
No catastrophe occured
No hurricane nor falling plane
Nor explosion could be heard
...
A naughty parody of Longfellow’s
Wreck of the Hesperus
It was the ship Hystericus
...
“Oh, ‘Pops, ’ I see an approaching light
Oh say, what can it be? ”
But the Cap’n answered not a word
A frozen Pops-sicle was he.
...
Allaman left, Turkey in the straw!
Just drank six beers and I wanted more;
Six is what my partner had
And now we got to whiz real bad.
...
When I was young, my only goal
Was to shake, rattle and to roll
And though it's hard to quite believe,
That goal, while old, I still achieve:
...
Critters great and critters small,
God he loves them one and all!
But I have often wondered why
He loves that skeeter and that fly;
...
A trader was asked by an Indian Chief,
'Have you ever tried gnawing on pemmican? '
'Just wait, ' he replied, 'while a get my false teeth;
It's tough but I think that with them I can! '
...
The purpose of love is to share;
The purpose of friendship, to care;
The purpose of breath is to breathe;
The purpose of mind, to perceive;
...
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this loving creature.
Help me to keep it always clean and healthy.
Keep me from changing it's appearance for no good reason.
...