John F. McCullagh Poems

Paris stole Agamemmon's woman.
Hector Killed Patroclus in a fight.
Achilles took revenge against the Trojan,
but otherwise sat sulking in his tent.
...

They’re a militant group of foodies of whom we live in constant dread.
They’re not ones to be satisfied with bribes of jam and bread.
They’re like a pack of locusts, descending on Food Mart.
Soon not a Twinkies left alive, just wrappers in the park.
...

(parody to tune of the Beatles “Lady Madonna”)
...

At the foot of the Cross stood the Magdalene
with Mary, his mother, and John.
Jesus was now in extremis-
the curious people had gone.
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Golgotha at Auschwitz

Perhaps they had tried to escape,
or else done some petty crime.
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The Mouse before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
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It's official, the divorce is now final.
Tiger and Elin are through.
He gets the payments, she gets the house.
Same deal for the Mercedes too.
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Last night we kissed hands goodbye,
never dreaming that it was forever.
Unsuspecting that you, my dear child,
soon would lie cold and still neath the heather.
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The Government runs free health care-
for veterans of our foreign wars.
Their philosophy of care is sly-
Delay, deny and hope they die.
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Won't you go home, Dick Cheney, won't you go home
Don’t talk the whole term long
...