John Wathen

I am a poor old fairy,
from the top of the christmas tree.
And as you enjoy yourselves this Christmas,
spare a thought for me.
...

Not all cats are fat cats,
some are thin and lean.
Some have eyes of deepest brown,
while others eyes are green.
...

When we first met,
I loved you red.
Fire and passion in my bed.
With passing years,
...

Said the Cat to the Mouse ' will you come to my house and join me in some tea'?
Said the Mouse to the Cat ' if I did that, I'm afraid that your tea would be me'.
'Oh no! ' said the Cat ' I would'nt do that, I'm not completely lacking in feeling'.
'I have some fresh bread and jam, a nice piece of ham, and a cup of the finest Darjeeling'.
...

I want to be an Essex driver
and drive my car so fast
and leave others in my slipstream
as I go tearing past
...

Its been told in lots of stories,
even written down in verse,
that in a Hedgehog v Cortina fight,
the hedgehog comes off worse.
...

How often can you put on a brave face?
Because this one is wearing thin.
This mask of indifference I'm showing,
is slowly crumbling in.
...

Sitting in the cafe,
with a cup of tea and pie,
Looking at the car park,
gazing at the sky.
...

I know you will never love me,
you know I'll always care.
I know in times of trouble,
you know I will be there.
...

If they took away the sunshine,
I could replace it with your smile.

If they took away the starlight,
...

Some people think that the cure for all ills,
is a tumbler of scotch and a handful of pills.
Others swear to end your life,
you need a nice hot bath and a good sharp knife,
...

What can you do if you lose
my trust?
What can be done if you abuse
my trust?
...

I suppose that strictly speaking,
pigs can't really fly,
and you 'd never get a camel
through a needles eye.
...

I can't stand the cold, cold winter.
The rain. The sleet. The snow.
I need the sun upon my back,
so its towards the South I go.
...

I am a local hero,
my exploits are world wide.
When our team won the F.A. Cup,
I was the captain of the side.
...

Mr. average Englishman is racist,
he doesn't mean to be.
Its just that he feels so superior,
to people like you and me.
...

On the battlefield of love you captured me.
You chained my desires and tore apart my soul.
In dungeons you imprisoned my spirit.
In solitary confinement, you tortured me,
...

...

Look at me with my new TV,
Sky H.D.
So all can see,
I leave my curtains open.
...

Your mind is deep,
my body's weak,
you mine my very soul.
You raise in me feelings
...