Kondwani Simwaba Poems

SILVER LINING
Some nights I stood alone, staring at the clouds that impeded us from the moon rays; the glimmering efforts of the moon, would from time to time brighten our days; observing cautiously at the sky so as not to miss the shooting star, the only hope we had to make wishes upon; I recall a voice that told me, ‘wishes are for fools, ' but what do you do when you came from where you had nothing? So every night I spoke to the moon about me, trusting her implicitly to safeguard my secrets; I recall a voice that regarded me a fool because I made more wishes on the stars than American kids do on Christmas; with so much weight on my shoulders, I truly needed Christ to offload this Mass; I said, with so much weight on my shoulders, I truly needed Christ to offload this Mass.
See! I, came from where the ambience Characterized every dream as pipeline, little faith; because no one ever believed in anything other than death; I sprung from where y'all described as a ghetto or rather, ghatta; no hopes and because nothing was ever given on a silver platter; we knew the meaning of hustle; it was the spelling that gave us quite a tussle; as we bustle through the morning, I saw gods! People that made it through high school need I say more on college grads'; everyday was darker than the nights, the ghetto; where we united in a harmonic symphony at the coming of the lights; nothing made us smile more than gazing at the Bazungus, y'all just call ‘em whites; If only I could make it outta this place, I'd walk on bended knees, I thought. See! Because some nights I stood alone; staring at the clouds that impeded us from the moon rays; because the glimmering efforts of the moon, made me pray for a silver lining.
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Unanswered prayers
He speaks in words that are mightier than a Lion's roar; their force louder than a heavy thunder storm; feared by many, for before trials he still stands tall; those of little knowledge of him, think courage is his only norm, but!
In the night he has his knees to the ground, with fingers tucked into each other and a head held high; nothing is heard from this room, except the beat in his heart as it pounds and only his eyes remain shut as he speaks to the one mightier in hopes that his hopes are not hopeless, yet he hears nothing still from above.
With his pen, he transcribes everything he feels on a piece of paper; scribbling words with his tears when he runs out of ink; million questions remain unanswered and his pain to the bone goes even deeper; wait ‘till he speaks, for his complexity renders him a paradox unfathomable. See! Because only he, can understand the thoughts of those that underestimate him.
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TEARS TO THE RESCUE
She looks me in the eyes right after I kiss her, with a face that says sorry; As I gaze at her beautiful face, I feel a heavy thump in my stomach and a grotesque chill runs through my spine; I know right there that I shouldn't have kissed her, those soft and sweet lips do not belong to me; she turns around to say goodbye and in an attempt to flatter me, she says ‘you, are very handsome so you'll be alright.' Of course I smile at that, I mean, who wouldn't? But my smile is just misdirection, I am a man and big boys don't cry; so she mustn't know about the funeral in my heart, ergo I play it out with humor and she responds with a beautiful laughter Ironic! I've always been good at cracking her jaws but apparently not enough to touch her heart…
She touches my face one more time and my breath goes along with her hands; I look down to her eyes and even though it might be the sun, I still think she's glowing, but before anymore words can be uttered she walks away and like a fool in denial my head swings along with her hand as she waves goodbye at me; perhaps I bit a little more than I could actually chew; soon she disappears from my site, she's gone but my silly heart can not quite fathom that, so instead I stay a little while longer, perhaps she may have forgotten something, her number maybe, silly. But she doesn't come back, so I head back home, straight to my room and under my blankets because I lied about big boys not crying, after all, I really did love her…
In a year or two, maybe when my heart's maturity catches up to my brain; I will see her again so she can touch my face once more and allow my breath to flow her hands; in a year or two, maybe when the moon goes missing she'll wonder what happened to the glow and long for me; in a year or two, maybe when all is said and done she and I will belong to each other; as I sit up thinking about all this my pain reduces as water covers my cheeks and I soak from it and a smile for hope surfaces on my lips because I find myself being rescued by tears and in that moment I know she and I have a date with destiny, just maybe not today…
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The Memory Child*
I look in the mirror to see the man I have become, it kills me to know that y'all no longer see me for the man I truly am; I am well aware of the message my new behaviour sends, but understand my pain is enveloped behind this smile and I only pray for deliverance but I am already stamped with shame...
You look at me from afar with disgust, casting upon me judgement for all my wrongs like the courts; I could say I am only human hence I err but that's the oldest excuse known to man; I admit I am not holier-than-thou, but you dont understand just how many demons I fight against to survive; See! Everyday is a battle so I take refuge behind the pen and attack with words, because this is the ony things that really gives me comfort...
The look on her face as she sees me walking could tell you just how much disappointment she has for me; Forgive me for smiling at her cuz I am well aware of her feelings, but humor has always had my back; that's why most of you will never understand just how many battles I fight daily, so next time you find me talking about success, understand this, me and failure once walked closely together like a dream couple...
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Rise of an African Youth
I have seen greater things come from the hopeless most parts; I have witnessed greater heights climbed by the shortest of people; I have seen kings emerge from the useless most servants; I, have witnessed presidents emerge from the dumbest of students in class; and even though I have seen all these things, what fascinates me the most is the story of bees, Honey! Listen, even the mighty lion flees from the swam; even Samson couldn't break a bunch of twigs with his thumb; but to see my fellow youths live as though they have no power, now that renders my heart even numb or am I just dumb?
For believing that the youths can actually rise; for believing that these youths will put down their phones for a second and listen, am I just dumb for thinking that these youths can actually learn to utilize their talents. Am I?
I have heard greater voices when these youths sing; I have witnessed real art when these youths work together; I have seen great leaders emerge from these youths; I have witnessed firsthand the variety of talent embedded in them, I, have seen rappers, poets, painters, actors, dancers and the list is endless, trust me for I, have seen the potential of these youths, in their movement now I guess you can call that Kinetic energy, because like an energy drink these cats are too wild to be tamed by system that is solely designed to hinder progression of the youths; now that renders my heart even numb or am I just dumb?
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EVEN HEROES NEED HELP TOO
They said that they looked up to me, it was difficult to lower my pride; to tell them that just like them too I was suffering; that I couldn't sleep every night ‘till I visited her; her, my sin.
To tell them that just like them too I needed help; that just like them too I was afaced with the same problem; to lower my pride and say I was never the hero that they thought me to be…
They said it's because of my poetry that they changed; transforming from what they were and fought addiction; that my words found a way to let them see the light, so how could I have told them that I was pinned down by the same sin?
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A poem about People
I used to believe in people until research led me to an unfathomable fact that the Titanic was merely a setup to reduce the population; because he advocated for a stronger and unified Africa we heard the last of Muammar Gaddaffi; how could I believe in people when they formulated AIDS as a scheme to make more money?
I used to believe in people until I saw a group of them rapping fellow humans in tires to be set ablaze under the notion that they were stealing their jobs, who thought the holocaust was bad? I mean, how could a fellow human mutilate another or worse still remove private organs of another for wealth?
I used to believe in people until I heard a father defiled his 9months old baby under the pretext of curing AIDS; he turned against his blood brother over a plate of beans; how could a biological mother set ablaze the daughter's hands for stealing relish? I swear I couldn't relish such kind of beef within a family…
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