Kondwani Simwaba

COVID19
See no one knew where it all came from or how it all started,
No one knew what to do about it or to what extent it would go;
No one knew what it was;
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My Queen
I met her somewhere in the stars, between the constellations of Aries and Orion's Bow; beaming with exuberance, her smile, quite like the Crescent moon in Winter's fall; Glistening with radiance, her eyes, glittering vehemently at Summer's light pour; her heart, warmer than summer yet she remained composed her poise, cooler than ice in Winter's snow; her voice, so Angelic you'd think the heavenly choir sung at her utterance of any words; her body shaped beautifully,a galaxy of enamour she belonged in the heavens because her celestial demeanor was as inexplicable as the science of the big bang theory; but she attracted me like the Bermuda triangle and 'tis for this gravitational pull that I fell for her and she became the order to my chaos, My Queen...
#RhapsodyArts
#QueenTMC*
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Dusting Dreams off my shelf
I've been thinking! Pensively about hanging up this mic; breaking the stem of my pen, so it could bleed ink one last time as I lose the ball at its nib just so it cannot point on pages anymore.
I've been thinking! Contemplating about my imminent divorce from the Arts; you see my first love and I haven't really been on speaking terms ergo our marriage has broken down irretrievably, guess I gotta go.
I've been thinking! Brooding over my Anhedonia; see I find myself at a stage in life where stages act like cages, restraining my wages; abashed by the little recognition I get from fellow sages.
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WHO THEN, SHOULD DEFINE LOVE?
Almost everyone can define love based on Apostle Paul's letter to the Corinthians; but who really can say they fully fathom such a complex topic?
If I do speak for myself; then I reckon everyone is but a professional on matters of love, because love is but a proponent of time and time breeds experience and thus everyone has their own experiences.
Or could it be that which the early philosophers said to the Athenians; or that, that message still lives with us to this day except with time we've all become myopic?
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A Poem within a Poem
What happened to the voices?
The ones that spoke to me,
Those that woke me up at midnight and;
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Pissing in the Air
Fifty one years since the first case of AIDS was recorded, ARV's and a self test AIDS Kit are all we've afforded; AIDS is such a concrete subject I reckon this is a major break through, because all possible cures have been regarded as somehow untrue; all cure stories have been shutdown for fear of major corporations being shutdown; they don't want me to talk about this, just look how they made Dr. Sebi kiss the ground.
Another one bites the dust, come with iron clad evidence about an AIDS cure and watch just how it all turns to rust; alas! My peers condemned me for talking about Nipsey Hussle as if it is such a hustle that I should talk about the Cyclone Idai, why! I swear I shed tears because it is such a damn tragedy what happened to those people; but what Nip inspired in me could never be simple; that's why I gotta pay my respect. That I should have talked about Xenophobia but y'all just didn't read my poems, that's why you try to put me in a box despite my claustrophobia.
I come from a country where Democracy is such a fallacy; they don't want me to talk about this because freedom of expression is an intellectual myth and even though I would like to side with the private media, I can't because they all just preach propaganda, it's all just vanity. I mean seriously, what power has my voice when even the most influential opposition get behind bars; I can only write these bars but honestly I am allergic to prison after all, who's gonna takecare of my child when I am in prison? Whoever said family holds you down, probably meant it in an Anchor context; because nobody supports nobody, it's all just a meaningless contest.
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WHAT HAS BECOME OF US?
I never would have imagined that it could come to this; two birds of the same feathers flocking away from each other, but maybe in due season when fruit departs from tree and the sun from the day; when night falls and darkness covers the firmament; when the tree divorces the leaves and clouds are seen no more; when the poet lays down his pen and can't write anymore, because his inspiration is gone; when the artist can no longer draw any attention from his followers and the composer can't make do with his ‘heart' beat. I wonder, what then shall become of us?
It was inevitable though inexplicable, we just played dumb and it remained unspeakable. This day was coming but we both ignored the truth and comforted ourselves with that which we desired and wished for; I swear I could pen them down in art, all the things I dreamt of; all that I desired and hoped for, see! Because the same things I prayed for scratched my heart beyond bandage repair, but who am I fooling? It has been too delicate; I swear this heart has experienced more falls that the mighty Niagara itself; so to say I paid attention to this journey would be but a blatant lie, because we both know how broke I was. I just wonder, what then shall become of us?
They told me what they thought, but I rejected their counsel and when they called me fool for making ‘Tazama pipeline' dreams I just darted from them; I mean who are they to comprehend that which I feel? Who are they to question my emotions? I swear if I was a story teller, I'd tell it to my children's' children so they can understand, because as it always has been, ‘those who know not of history are doomed to repeat it! ' I know the reader wonders too, what then shall become of us?
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I CAN SEE CLEARLY!
As the lights come on and I begin to see the truth that lay before me even though, I chose to look so far beyond; the dream that never made any sense was a reality awaiting my exculpation; a fantasy that stared right into my eyes and yet I blinked and ogled at the wrong sight; though Reppunzle stood before me, it was Cinderella I really needed yet I was blinded by the former's mighty hair; even though she spoke to me so tenderly, my heart was never really there; she fell in love with my words but I never really did care; that which defined me is what she loved and I couldn't fathom it at the time; so now before it's too late I wanna describe it with a rhyme and this is a sonnet for the unseen.
This is not just another poem, because now I can see; that which was covered by darkness is revealed; that which was over shadowed by false hopes can now glow; that which was shy is now confident; I can see clearly! That which lay under my nose when I sought hope from the roof top, I can see clearly; with my heart I can feel it; with my mind, body and spirit, I swear! I can recognize it; see! When my heart broke it healed me with a single touch, but I took one too many pain killers, I couldn't identify it; except now as my comrade the mighty Moon glows and the twinkling stars appear, I can feel it, for it has always been a part of me though inadvertently, I chose to overlook it but not anymore, because this time I can see clearly!
I dare to stare at that which made us a pair; the beauty in the smile that tamed my war, a true heart slayer; so many songs to sings and words to speak but with a rhyme to prepare; the glow of eyes that weaken the soul, insidious is but this snare; the curtains to fall and veil to drop for there is no shyness when love is there; I sought amongst the stars for a beautiful love so rare; yet underneath the skies existed a heart to care; for all the times my heart got broken and I ignored her who's to say life isn't fair? But I have overlooked her for the longest and this time I remember her in prayer; so I dare to stare at that which makes us a pair, because this time I can see clearly…
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I never thanked you Enough
On a blustering sunny day you'll see him sweating, trying to to hide his fatigue by forcing a smile; he is beaten by the hustle; yet you'll never hear him cry foul; tougher than a mule as he breaks sweat for bread in his unforgiving bustle; never accepting defeat even in most impossible states; he taught me maths with a slap when I couldn't multiply; you'd never see his tears no matter how rough life gets; a man who taught me that to be a man you don't have to cry; but approach life with studies, for trials are merely tests; and even though my momma never had wings, his alone was enough to make her fly; always protected his own and them through school; I swear! I've never seen a greater man under the sun than my father; so I write this piece with thanks giving because I always felt like I just never thanked you enough for everything I am. Love you papa..
#RhapsodyArts
#BlessedPeople
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SILVER LINING
Some nights I stood alone, staring at the clouds that impeded us from the moon rays; the glimmering efforts of the moon, would from time to time brighten our days; observing cautiously at the sky so as not to miss the shooting star, the only hope we had to make wishes upon; I recall a voice that told me, ‘wishes are for fools, ' but what do you do when you came from where you had nothing? So every night I spoke to the moon about me, trusting her implicitly to safeguard my secrets; I recall a voice that regarded me a fool because I made more wishes on the stars than American kids do on Christmas; with so much weight on my shoulders, I truly needed Christ to offload this Mass; I said, with so much weight on my shoulders, I truly needed Christ to offload this Mass.
See! I, came from where the ambience Characterized every dream as pipeline, little faith; because no one ever believed in anything other than death; I sprung from where y'all described as a ghetto or rather, ghatta; no hopes and because nothing was ever given on a silver platter; we knew the meaning of hustle; it was the spelling that gave us quite a tussle; as we bustle through the morning, I saw gods! People that made it through high school need I say more on college grads'; everyday was darker than the nights, the ghetto; where we united in a harmonic symphony at the coming of the lights; nothing made us smile more than gazing at the Bazungus, y'all just call ‘em whites; If only I could make it outta this place, I'd walk on bended knees, I thought. See! Because some nights I stood alone; staring at the clouds that impeded us from the moon rays; because the glimmering efforts of the moon, made me pray for a silver lining.
#CoolCrazyKindaNerd
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Unanswered prayers
He speaks in words that are mightier than a Lion's roar; their force louder than a heavy thunder storm; feared by many, for before trials he still stands tall; those of little knowledge of him, think courage is his only norm, but!
In the night he has his knees to the ground, with fingers tucked into each other and a head held high; nothing is heard from this room, except the beat in his heart as it pounds and only his eyes remain shut as he speaks to the one mightier in hopes that his hopes are not hopeless, yet he hears nothing still from above.
With his pen, he transcribes everything he feels on a piece of paper; scribbling words with his tears when he runs out of ink; million questions remain unanswered and his pain to the bone goes even deeper; wait ‘till he speaks, for his complexity renders him a paradox unfathomable. See! Because only he, can understand the thoughts of those that underestimate him.
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TEARS TO THE RESCUE
She looks me in the eyes right after I kiss her, with a face that says sorry; As I gaze at her beautiful face, I feel a heavy thump in my stomach and a grotesque chill runs through my spine; I know right there that I shouldn't have kissed her, those soft and sweet lips do not belong to me; she turns around to say goodbye and in an attempt to flatter me, she says ‘you, are very handsome so you'll be alright.' Of course I smile at that, I mean, who wouldn't? But my smile is just misdirection, I am a man and big boys don't cry; so she mustn't know about the funeral in my heart, ergo I play it out with humor and she responds with a beautiful laughter Ironic! I've always been good at cracking her jaws but apparently not enough to touch her heart…
She touches my face one more time and my breath goes along with her hands; I look down to her eyes and even though it might be the sun, I still think she's glowing, but before anymore words can be uttered she walks away and like a fool in denial my head swings along with her hand as she waves goodbye at me; perhaps I bit a little more than I could actually chew; soon she disappears from my site, she's gone but my silly heart can not quite fathom that, so instead I stay a little while longer, perhaps she may have forgotten something, her number maybe, silly. But she doesn't come back, so I head back home, straight to my room and under my blankets because I lied about big boys not crying, after all, I really did love her…
In a year or two, maybe when my heart's maturity catches up to my brain; I will see her again so she can touch my face once more and allow my breath to flow her hands; in a year or two, maybe when the moon goes missing she'll wonder what happened to the glow and long for me; in a year or two, maybe when all is said and done she and I will belong to each other; as I sit up thinking about all this my pain reduces as water covers my cheeks and I soak from it and a smile for hope surfaces on my lips because I find myself being rescued by tears and in that moment I know she and I have a date with destiny, just maybe not today…
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The Memory Child*
I look in the mirror to see the man I have become, it kills me to know that y'all no longer see me for the man I truly am; I am well aware of the message my new behaviour sends, but understand my pain is enveloped behind this smile and I only pray for deliverance but I am already stamped with shame...
You look at me from afar with disgust, casting upon me judgement for all my wrongs like the courts; I could say I am only human hence I err but that's the oldest excuse known to man; I admit I am not holier-than-thou, but you dont understand just how many demons I fight against to survive; See! Everyday is a battle so I take refuge behind the pen and attack with words, because this is the ony things that really gives me comfort...
The look on her face as she sees me walking could tell you just how much disappointment she has for me; Forgive me for smiling at her cuz I am well aware of her feelings, but humor has always had my back; that's why most of you will never understand just how many battles I fight daily, so next time you find me talking about success, understand this, me and failure once walked closely together like a dream couple...
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Rise of an African Youth
I have seen greater things come from the hopeless most parts; I have witnessed greater heights climbed by the shortest of people; I have seen kings emerge from the useless most servants; I, have witnessed presidents emerge from the dumbest of students in class; and even though I have seen all these things, what fascinates me the most is the story of bees, Honey! Listen, even the mighty lion flees from the swam; even Samson couldn't break a bunch of twigs with his thumb; but to see my fellow youths live as though they have no power, now that renders my heart even numb or am I just dumb?
For believing that the youths can actually rise; for believing that these youths will put down their phones for a second and listen, am I just dumb for thinking that these youths can actually learn to utilize their talents. Am I?
I have heard greater voices when these youths sing; I have witnessed real art when these youths work together; I have seen great leaders emerge from these youths; I have witnessed firsthand the variety of talent embedded in them, I, have seen rappers, poets, painters, actors, dancers and the list is endless, trust me for I, have seen the potential of these youths, in their movement now I guess you can call that Kinetic energy, because like an energy drink these cats are too wild to be tamed by system that is solely designed to hinder progression of the youths; now that renders my heart even numb or am I just dumb?
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EVEN HEROES NEED HELP TOO
They said that they looked up to me, it was difficult to lower my pride; to tell them that just like them too I was suffering; that I couldn't sleep every night ‘till I visited her; her, my sin.
To tell them that just like them too I needed help; that just like them too I was afaced with the same problem; to lower my pride and say I was never the hero that they thought me to be…
They said it's because of my poetry that they changed; transforming from what they were and fought addiction; that my words found a way to let them see the light, so how could I have told them that I was pinned down by the same sin?
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A poem about People
I used to believe in people until research led me to an unfathomable fact that the Titanic was merely a setup to reduce the population; because he advocated for a stronger and unified Africa we heard the last of Muammar Gaddaffi; how could I believe in people when they formulated AIDS as a scheme to make more money?
I used to believe in people until I saw a group of them rapping fellow humans in tires to be set ablaze under the notion that they were stealing their jobs, who thought the holocaust was bad? I mean, how could a fellow human mutilate another or worse still remove private organs of another for wealth?
I used to believe in people until I heard a father defiled his 9months old baby under the pretext of curing AIDS; he turned against his blood brother over a plate of beans; how could a biological mother set ablaze the daughter's hands for stealing relish? I swear I couldn't relish such kind of beef within a family…
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