Melanie Walendowsky Baker

Melanie Walendowsky Baker Poems

The earth that supports
the path where I tread.
The smiles and the laughter
and you in my head.

I wonder if I left you
A part of me behind.
I wonder if you knew
Exactly what I'd find.

When despair comes knocking
There’s no one home
Gone out shopping
And not alone

and so it creeps back
this unyielding thorn,
when the defenses crack,
and certainty's torn.

I know I'm a burden
to those who love me most.
I know I've become someone
resembling a ghost.

I can't seem to resist
the need to push away,
and always desist
when my heart goes astray.

dark thoughts that
no one shares
i look the same so
no one cares.

I'm not back where I started,
but I'm back in a familiar zone
with familiar feelings of rejection.
I'm back with my old friend:

The angels have gone,
they said they couldn't stay.
They said they were tired
of keeping my demons at bay.

The angel in me speaks
of angels long gone and dead.
He speaks of hopelessness
so thick that in me spreads.

I can see the angels
when her eyes sparkle
just before she laughs.

I'm so determined
I have no idea how,
but I need to leave this place -
it has to be now.

I know that there might
be one who'll break through,
I know that there might
be one who'll reach deep inside.


What is the truth
when you don't know
who you are?

the silence, the aching,
the numbness, the pain.

the wonder, the lightness

I'm exhausted and weary
but you're on my mind.
So goodbye dreary
you're the light that I find.

My Dark Side
I try to shield.

To Darkness, though,

Where are you, Soul,
when I need you most?

You've gone somewhere

Does it ever leave you,
the panic and despair?
Do you survive somehow
when hope just isn't there?

with memories alive
of the undead,

how can i cope

The Best Poem Of Melanie Walendowsky Baker

Too Many Goodbyes

The earth that supports
the path where I tread.
The smiles and the laughter
and you in my head.

The moments gone by,
the loss and the pain.
The power I have,
and the strength I regain.

I still hold the fear
so close to my heart,
and I am still quite aware
of what it imparts.

But to reason is foolish,
and not what I need.
There are holes in my heart
that I need to feed.

I know I can't blame you
for what you don't know,
but one thing is certain:
you shouldnt've let me go.

The smiles and the laughter
were never quite there.
I wanted you near me,
I wanted you to care.

I say to myself that
you're the only one.
But how true is that,
after all that wasn't done?

I carry this image
of your heart in mine.
I long for you, I weep
I get angry and pine.

Your image was false,
an imprint of lies.
I never quite knew you;
too many goodbyes.

There's still one more left,
that I couldn't tell.
But I have all my strength now,
and I bid you farewell.

(London,14 May,2003)

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