Mr. Handsome Poems

This morning I awaken with you on my mind,
Giving thanks to the Lord for being so kind.
Always in control our paths He aligned
And brought me a love I never expected to find.
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I'm not one to give my heart away,
I stopped believing in love years ago.
Then I met you and my heart wouldn't stay,
It chose to follow you and refused to go slow.
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I battle my mind, though today it is winning.
I wrestle each thought, but it's me that they're pinning.
The day is upon me, i knew it'd soon come,
And this opponent I can run from.
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I spoke with the voice and it told me it's plan.
"Go on, try and stop me. You're only a man.
You may be her future, but I'll keep her in the past.
I make her wear depression and doubt, no eyes haveth this mask."
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In the shadows stands the Goyle mocking,
With its fiendish eyes my every move stalking.
The sound of its discourse clouding my reasoning.
I'm penetrated by fear, as I feel my spirit weakening.
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If happiness is a choice, did I pick this instead?
Of all the choices, did I pick to be dead?
I select it so often you could say it's an obsession,
To be mauled by this beast some call depression.
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WHen it comes to my words I have no finesse,
Often I struggle my thoughts to express,
I construct the attempt, but create only a mess.
Playing with checkers while Life's playing chess.
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I scream from my depth but at the surface
Bubbles only silence,
As I scour my thoughts for peace
Amongst their sea of violence.
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Sinking down the river,
Pockets filled with lead.
I fight to stay here,
As I return to the Dead.
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