30 Times. Poem by Eman Awad

How can you be saying that we are through?
don't say this to any one even to your self.
It wasn't my fault you didn't know i love you,
and that you never knew that you're life it's self.
And that you didn't know how i speak of you,
how i tell every one about the love in my heart.
You never knew that i pray to dream of you,
and that i feel your love from the very start.
You didn't know how i struggle with ryhmes,
trying to write you poems of love and affection.
And before i sleep i say your name 30 times,
maybe i won't just dream of you but find your direction.
How can you be saying that,
you gave your love to the wrong one?
Then i'm sure you didn't know that,
i told the whole world you are the one.
I lost the count to my heart beats,
whenever i hear your name called out.
Even if i was walking in the streets,
i turn because i saw you in a doubt.
You say i'm cruel,
and that you flew from my smile and died from my tears.
But baby i'm your fool,
i gaze eternaly upon your smile and i'm lost in my fears.
You say i'm not worth you,
you regret that you ever felt for me.
But how can i blame who never knew,
and thinks he is the only one in misery.
If you ever remembered well,
who died to talk to you and walk behind your shade.
And whose life turned into hell,
from stupid things you did and i felt like i fade.
You never knew about the poems,
all about you who i love and die for.
I pictured us in heaven beautiful homes,
i prayed to live in with who i adore.
I defied the whole world,
and i stood for my love for you.
I denied that i'm not your girl,
i told them i only live for you.
And who i hoped to live with you life times,
and finally you fall for me so deep.
And how foolish i felt saying your name 30 times,
dreaming to dream of you in my sleep...