A Brand New Start. Poem by Maria Shaw

'What do you want to eat' he said
I saw the dark glint in his eyes
I knew whatever the choice I made
would be wrong and would cause a fight.

I hesitated, then I replied
'Whatever you fancy, I really don't mind'
SMASH. I felt my nose explode
I cupped my hands to catch the flow.

'Don't you have a mind of your own, ' he bellowed angrily
couldn't he see the fear and the pain that he invoked in me.
This time I'm going to leave him
I can't live like this, my mind was reeling.

Inside my head I'm screaming,
but I put on my mask, I have to stay strong,
I'll leave while he is sleeping.
I'm not sure where I'll go
what if he finds me, he said he would,
If ever I thought of leaving.

My rambled thoughts filled my head
he raised his hand I flinched in dread.
He passed me a tissue, apologized,
as though his actions could pacify.

I have no choice, I have to leave,
tonight I will be free
panic screams through my head
what if he comes after me
I guess If I stay I'll be dead anyway.

I'm not going to pack a bag
I'll leave in the shirt on my back
I'll creep out at dark
while he's dreaming.

Yes, tonight I'm going to leave him
I'm praying for the dark.
Tomorrow there'll be hope in sight
I'll make a brand new start.