A Butterfly I Used To Know - Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

I keep your picture in my heart
I cared about you from the start
And it feels so blue to miss you too
Because I think of me you are still a part

But you're nowhere to be found
You stopped coming around
and if you do you don't make a sound
Sadness is like a merrygoround

Sometimes I still risk to say hello
My heart shivers inside like jello
I feel such an unlucky fellow
You used to make me feel happy and mellow

But my emotions can't find a home
Someone cares about me but still I roam
Because without your care I feel abandoned; alone
Perhaps my distant dreams were overblown

Perhaps it was my older age
I can't help my state, to me it is just a cage
and from it there is no escape
Though my heart still feels and is agape

Did you know to me you're someone dear
Inside this heart, I keep you near
For you I hang on though hopeless feer
Perhaps one day you'll understand more clear

You used to be my gentle butterfly
You were the apple of my eye
We said we were friends but it was a lie
I should have told you, I don't know why

I told myself to be content to be a friend
I thought our friendship would grow, not end
and help our broken hearts to mend
I thought we always had kndness to lend

But the worst scenario that I feared
I woke up one day and looked for you
For the longest time you disappeared
I felt wounded when the clouds never cleared

But in my heart there is still so much care
I search for you in others everwhere
imagining the feel and smelll of you hair
Sometimes life feels too sad to face; unfair

Wherever I go, until I die
Whenever I see a delicate butterfly
I will remember you
But inside a part of me will cry

Because you never noticed me
Except as just some nice man
But I really had a heart for you
Imagine, if it's still possible you can

And this one thought I wish to say
Before I too leave and go away
What is a man but what is in his heart
Of mine you were a precious part

The saddest things sometimes are those we'll never know
We hold them as dreams and inside our hearts they grow
But they only fly away or melt like April snow
You never saw me as real, still it hurts to let this dream go

I saw a yellow butterfly the other day
Yellow heart shaped wings with dots of black
She landed on a purple wildflower then flew away
A meloncoly feeling to look back

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Poem Edited: Tuesday, August 2, 2011

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