A Crazy Time Poem by jael gurl

i I came at a pretty crazy time, huh?
I didn't just walk into your life.
I arrived.

All high tops and Legos.
All big sweaters and movie nights.

And it was magic.
I mean, I don't know about anyone else
but for me it was iridescent
I was iridescent, and everything glowed

But I mean I came at a pretty crazy time, huh?
I just showed up to this puzzle
that had a giant Me -shaped hole.

I remember lying in that bed
and counting the six—
no, maybe seven—walls.
I remember thanking each one.

I barely remember lying in that bed anymore.

But I remember the first time I looked at you
and you lit me up like a candle.

That's kind of how it felt.
The kind of candle that burns slow
and warms the whole room
until it's perfectly cozy.

That's how it felt when you looked at me
and realized
maybe she's more than I thought.

Her hair smells nice.
She holds me tight.
She sings in bed.
And her hands find mine.

but i came at a pretty crazy time, huh?

i was all Christmas trees
and hotel rooms.

I remember all the hotel rooms.

I barely remember what it's like
to lay on the couch and hold your hand.

But I remember what your face looked like
the first time you realized I was clever—
that I made you laugh
and took you off guard.

I remember the very first time I scared you.
when
you looked at me like you were falling in love with me.

I came at a pretty crazy time, huh?

Everything was—
it was all flipped upside down

And me,
the perfect place on the land.
I must have been pretty cozy
with all that space.

I barely remember
late night laughter with your mom,
but I remember
the night she looked at me
like she didn't recognize me anymore.

I remember another hotel room, too—
the one I sat in alone
on Christmas.

I came at a pretty crazy time, huh?

Because there I was,
with all my cozy blankets and fireplaces—
all security
and laughter.

I barely remember
walking through that door the first time but I remember
the first time I walked up to it
and knew
it was no longer mine to walk through.

i came at a pretty crazy time huh
i guess i left at one too